Podcast 18 – David, Goliath and FEAR!

This was too good to pass up.  I was in a meeting not long ago with a really great guy who has an amazing perspective on life, faith, spirituality, and serving other people.  He is a constant radar for folks who might need his help.  And he will alter his schedule and give his time to anyone who crosses his path who might need a hand.  I’m very pleased that we will now be working together in a significant capacity in my life.

After we completed the business part of the meeting, we started talking about personal matters and it didn’t take long for the topic to turn to church, faith, and the true application of Christianity and spirituality.  He has a very refreshing look on how faith should be lived out in our lives and as a little example of his more practical perspective, he told me the old familiar story of David and Goliath, but like I’d never heard it before.  I had to share it with you, and there’s a great application we can work into our own lives every day.

Podcast 17 – Manifestations

There’s so much focus on The Law of Attraction these days.  The movie, “The Secret”, revived great interest in how we can concentrate our thoughts and have that manifest in our life.  The Subconscious Mind is the portal to the spiritual world.  In this podcast, we’ll talk about Manifesting, Tornados and a story from a chapter of my life of how something was born in my mind, and it finally manifest in my life.  There were 4 steps that led to the manifestation, and you’ll find out what they are.

Podcast 14 – Rules, Rules, Rules, Pt. 3

Now we’re going to shift into our new identity!  We laid the groundwork in Podcast 12 and Podcast 13, so now we’re going to learn how to transform our old beliefs into a totally new personal identity.  This is the “shift” point that can catapult your life in a new direction!


Podcast 14 – Rules, Rules, Rules Part 4

You’re listening to Subconscious Mind Mastery podcast number 14, part three of a three part series.

My name is Thomas Miller. If you haven’t caught part 1 or 2, go back to 12 and 13 and get a running start because you won’t get the context of this podcast if you haven’t listened to those other two. But in this one we are going to put a bow around it all and we’re going to wrap everything up and look at how we can deal with these yeah but resistances. And the other big thing that we’re going to cover today is how to deal with our identity because it’s those resistances, it’s that yeah but resistance combined with the accentuation I guess, the enlargement of our self-ego, our identity that keep us from what we want. So that’s what we’re going to unpack in this podcast. And I hope that this series has helped you understand a little bit better of how you got to where you are and why certain things have been the way they are, when it might have been a little bit mysterious before, because this is really, really, really huge. We build out whole lives around these perspectives that we’ve discussed. The world according to me is built on exactly what we’ve talked about, that very early on in our development, sometimes even back into the womb or before the womb, that we were formulated with predispositions or impacted with certain circumstances, stimuli programming that gave us a certain perspective on this new thing that we were born into called life. And from that perspective we basically stepped out into the world as a little magnet and we started to do life.

Life rewarded us according to how we were polarizing, how we were magnetizing, the vortex, that energy that we had. And even as little kids we started to build interpretations and beliefs about how life was, lots of if then correlations of the circumstances that if I do this and I get that result then we program our belief system from there. And then a lot of things are taught to us by our environment, by our parents, our school, our church etc. And all of that goes into what we really probably into our teenage years and live through our teenage years with this perspective of, oh okay, this is life. Some people have a really great start and they end up just sailing through. And literally I think that’s … it’s the combination, it’s generic predisposition and it’s the programming. A lot of us have not had that luxury and we’ve had to work on ourselves. And I would dare say that most of us find ourselves in the latter category rather than the former. So we’ve built all these rules up about life. And the problem is, is if we look at somebody else’s life and they’ve built a different set of rules and those rules might be an opposite polarity of our rules, but yet life works for them according to their rules and life works for us according to our rules. And so you can’t say that our rules are ‘right’, right by whose interpretation? They’re right for us because that’s how we’ve interpreted that we need to build a belief system in order to in essence, survive this thing called life, which we find as sometimes not safe.

So the biggest key, I’m telling you, this is the 80/20 rule of what I did to turn myself around is when I finally was able to give up those rules. And I will tell you, it is the hardest process you will go through because those are your rules. You worked hard to develop those rules. Life itself has put together that bundle of rules for you. This is how you believe the way that it is. Now let me stop and say right here, if life is working for you, then don’t listen to this, turn it off, because those are the rules that you want to ultimately develop, is the rules that make life work for you. I am talking to the people here that have been challenged and that are struggling and that have stuff in their life that doesn’t work well for them. That’s the audience for this series. If life is working for you, great, then don’t change what has got you there. Pardon the bad grammar.

I have a good friend right now in my life who is in that second category, that it just, life just works for this guy and it has for a long time. And he moves and he sails through life so almost effortlessly. And everything he touches does well. And I sent him an email the other day and I said, “Well I know you well enough to know that I can just say congratulations on things going well.” You know how normally we send an email and we say, “I hope things are going well for you?” Well I just said, “Hey, congratulations, I know things are going well for you.” And he sent back lol. He thought that was funny. But that’s where we want to get to and that’s what this whole website and podcast is all about is how to reprogram that old programming, because it is, it’s stuck in our subconscious minds. And our subconscious minds are that driver, that spiritual force, that unconscious propeller if you will, that directs our lives in a certain way according to that programming. We press certain programming on the subconscious mind, it locks onto that and it goes out to fulfill it. So for example, my friend is programmed towards success. So he wakes up in the morning and certain things are just working for him, things are lined up, phone calls are ready, emails are in his box and that’s what he intended to do. A lot of us wake up with a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety and stress.

And our life unfolds according to that programming because our subconscious mind is fulfilling what our conscious mind is pressing upon it day after day, emotion after emotion. And this is where you have to guard every single thought that you allow yourself to hold in your mind. Thoughts can come and go, you can have a thought about, oh that jerk driver, and then you can just let it go. And you go “No, no, no, I’m sorry, negate that, I didn’t mean to say that, I bless that person, hey, I hope they have a happy day.” And you can, literally, you can, like a ping pong ball you can have a thought come in and you can whack it back out. But there are other thoughts that we hold on to and those are the ones that you have to have an extra sensitive alert guard of what you’re thinking at any given moment, because it’s those thoughts, and as Napoleon Hill would say, if you combine the thought with the intensity of the emotion of love or the passion of sex, go read Think and Grow Rich, he talks about this in one of the early chapters. It’s great stuff. It’s the thoughts that you hold with that intense emotion, it’s those thoughts that impress the subconscious mind. So if you wake up like I did in the RV for a year there with just fear and terror and anxiety, that’s what’s being impressed on your subconscious mind. That’s what’s programming your subconscious mind.

And so what we’re about here is to identify that, that’s what we’re doing in this three part series and then a lot of techniques of how you can un-program and reprogram that to the life that you really love. Okay. Sorry, I got off track there a little bit. But really this is so important. And this is the deal, it’s yeah but, wherever you see yourself in the resistance of yeah but, Thomas, you don’t understand. Yeah, but I can’t give up that because that’s the way that we used to do it. Oh, here’s a big one, yeah, but our religion teachers or yeah, but look, my life is a mess right now and what you’re telling me to do is to believe that it could be any different, or like the conversation I had last night, “Yeah, but you don’t understand my job and you don’t get my boss.” Yeah but, wherever you see yeah but, I want you to stop, get your journal out and write about it, yeah but, here some yeah but resistance showed up for me today. And unpack that. Stop right there, if you have to wait to do it, I would do it right in the moment because that’s where the intensity of the emotion is, if you at all can, do it in the moment, if you can’t, set it aside but come back to it and get back into that emotion of that yeah but. And unpack that resistance. Where is it coming from? Trace it back.

Follow the steps that we’ve talked about in these podcasts, trace it back to the point of origin in your life, when did this first show up. Ask yourself, why is this emotion so strong for me right now. Find out why it’s serving you. What is it that is in your life or has been in your life where the payoff is, what is this doing to serve you? Because you wouldn’t hold onto it if it wasn’t serving you in some way, so it’s protecting something. And if you connect what bad emotions or what … I won’t say bad emotions, that’s not the correct phrasing, it’s the emotions that aren’t leading you where you want to go. If you can capture those emotions and then figure out what it is in your past that that’s changed to, it’s coupled with something, and if you find what that’s changed to, that’s where you need to go back and deal with that issue. And in dealing with that issue, there might be reprogramming that needs to take place. The people involved might not be alive anymore, you might not be able to go back and reconcile with them if it was a person involved. It might be a series of things where look and you just say, “Oh, I see how life has been according to this pattern.” And that’s where you have to shift that magnet vortex. Is this making sense to you? I hope that it is and I hope that it’s been beneficial.

I had somebody send me an email yesterday and just said, “Thank you Thomas.” And it had about eight exclamation marks after it. And so I really appreciate that. And by the way, if you wouldn’t mind, hit the comment box or the voting on iTunes, I would really appreciate that, if you’d take just a minute and vote and leave a comment, I’d love to know how this is impacting you. So if you’re willing to capture those yeah but moments, those points of resistance, that area when you just, man you’re dug in and this is the way it’s going to be, the next biggest thing that you’re going to have to deal with is yourself, and I’m saying self with capital S, your ego, your essence, your identity, because who we are is really an accumulation of all these beliefs and rules that we … that’s how we go out and do life. So what I’m suggesting you do is that you be willing to lay down the rules and release the identity that is so attached to you.

I’ve been working through this and this is where I am in my process right now, for myself. I told you I had a coach, I’ve been working with this coach for about six months. And when we first started I had so many yeah but’s, it wasn’t even funny. I couldn’t wait for my coach to say something so that I could just say, “Yeah, but.” It almost became sport, because I also realized that one of the biggest, deepest, ingrained things that I had going on my psyche and my belief system was that I had to be right every time, game over, I had to be right. And I would do anything in the world to be right and to make you wrong if I had to, so that I could be right. And now I can tell you, the veil is falling off. Here’s also where it would be really great to have an accountability partner, somebody who understands this and understands you enough so that when you get caught back in your stuff and you get back in that rut, because we all do, they can help snap you out of it. They can help bring you out and say, “Wait a minute; you’re going back in that direction. So that’s why I have a coach and we talk on the phone once a week.

And I have my buddy from … who was a roommate in college who I offended at one point in our lives together about 20 years ago. I really offended him. And we were able fortunately to patch up our relationship and now we meet regularly and I go hang it out there, I tell him everything. And I tell him, “Look, I’ve had a bad week, I’ve really been up in it this week.” In fact that was kind of our last conversation. And he helps bring me back out of that. So you need to build that into your life. It’s invaluable. Don’t go at this alone, you need people around you who will help you and hold you accountable to this, because as you identify it and you start to rebuild it then you get a new habit system. And then after a certain period of time you’ll know yourself when you’ve crossed the line because the new programming is so entrenched now that when you violate it like you used to all the time, it really catches you, it stands out, like oh man, I’m going back to that again, whoa, wait, wait, wait, let’s turn, shift back, breathe, that’s not who I am anymore.

Okay, I’ve given you yeah but, I want to give you two more words because this is the shift point. So we’ve identified it and you’re willing to release it, great, excellent, let me welcome you to the rest of your life. How do you step into it? The two words I want to give you are ‘I am’. Wayne Dyer talks about this but it’s not his, believe me, I mean you can trace it back to the old testament where God said, “I am” up there on the mountain when he was giving the 10 commandments (more rules) to Moses. I’m just kidding, but you get the point. Okay. I am, is setting the essence of I am ignoring where I am today. I am setting the intention, I am creating the who I am now.

You remember in the last podcast I told you about Darren Weissman – Dr Darren Weissman and his lifeline technique. After he has looked back with people at that defining moment, that moment of fear in their life when they were 22 months old, then he creates the new who I am. He says, “You wouldn’t choose fear to define you would you? Would you at 22 months old if you could, choose to live the rest of your life in fear?” You say, “Of course not.” Well the next question is who are you now? What do you choose? This is your greatest power is your ability to choose. And so you say, “I choose to be bold and dynamic, powerful and courageous.” And in that lifeline technique process that he does he has people state that in a sentence, “I am bold, dynamic, powerful and courageous.” And if you’ll do that for yourself and say it with that kind of emotion for yourself, it’s amazing how you feel, it just … it lifts you up. So what you’re doing is you’re creating an I am statement and putting it out there into the universe. You’re saying, “I am bold, dynamic, powerful and courageous.” Now, you might look around your life and you don’t see bold or dynamic or powerful, courageous, you don’t see the fruit of that, you don’t see the presence of that. And that’s where we say the other two words, ‘yeah but’, yeah but Thomas, my life is all messed up and you don’t understand, I’m not bold and I’m not dynamic. And we let today’s current circumstances dictate who we are. And so what we say is, “I am my current circumstances.” And that’s that spin cycle that we never get out of.

To make this work in your life you have to say, “I am bold, dynamic, powerful, courageous” when everything around you says otherwise. But this is where you are changing your identity. Let’s say you want to be an author, so you would say, “I am a published author. I am a writer.” Now, what do writers do? Well they write, right. So if you’re saying, “I am a writer”, the next thing you have to do is take steps in the direction of being who you are saying you are, because ultimately isn’t it the actions that we take that define the results that we get? And so if you say, “I am a writer”, not, “I want to be”, you don’t say, “I want to be a writer”, want creates a gap because you’re here, being a writer is over there and there’s a distance, there is a missing element between you and there and that is a publishing contract. So you say, “I want to be a writer one day.” No. No, no, no, change that, “I am a writer.” And writers write. So every day spend some time writing, that’s what I’m doing, so why don’t you come join me if that’s what you want to do. But whatever it is say, “I am” and step into the reality, the identity of that I am.

I gave a speech about this to a group of people just this past week who are wanting to become speakers. And when I talked about stepping into the identity of being a speaker now, I said, “Think about, if you could … think about a successful public speaker who’s doing it successfully, if you could step into their world, step into their identity, if you could become them, if you could have their contact book for 24 hours, if you could know what they know and have experienced what they’ve experienced, and you could own that identity, how would that change your perspective on everything. And then so much beyond that, how much would that change your actions of what you did every day? If you knew what they knew and if you had experienced what they’d experienced, and if you thought the way they thought, it would completely shift your dynamic.” Well, you can almost do that by taking on this new identity by saying, “I am a public speaker, and I’m successful and I’m booked 52 weeks a year.” And then what do you do? Well, if you’re a speaker, speakers speak. And if you don’t have anybody paying you to speak right now, Toastmasters is a great way to go get some speaking experience. And in the process you’re going to keep developing your I am a public speaker. What will happen is the universe will come along and support your I am statement because it won’t let you hang out there by yourself for very long as an I am identity without coming along to support you to fulfill that.

But do you see how carefully we have to guard our thoughts, because if you say, “I am a loser, I am fearful, I am someone who life just doesn’t work for.” Or let’s take a negative, “I am too good for this. I am someone with too much experience to be doing this.” Well if you are then why aren’t you? See we sometimes conjure up false I am’s in order to cover up what isn’t working in our life. And that brings us back full circle to lay it down. If you’re willing to give it up then you can rebuild it with a new I am. So create a new I am today that serves you and that takes you in the direction of where you want to go. If you say, “I am love. I am a person of love.” Well, go find somebody to love today, go find an animal to love today, but go find some expression of love that’s new in your life.” If you say, “I’m a person of peace, I choose to be at peace”, then take steps to go do something to be at peace, go meditate, go do yoga, go pray.

The other thing I would suggest you do is to write this down on an index card and keep it by your bedside. In fact, I would keep it in several places. That’s what I do. I keep it in my car and I keep it up on the bathroom mirror and I keep it by my bedside. I keep it in a journal and I have an electronic journal so I am kind of a little bit over the top. You know what they say, “The acorn doesn’t fall too far from the tree.” But I’ve written stuff up on the bathroom mirror for several years now and every day I make sure that I take some kind of a step toward the identity that I’ve created, even if it’s five minutes, take some kind of action.

So basically this podcast series has outlined a lot of the major points that it took for me to change my life from this point to that. The comprehension, the understanding that I had to achieve in order to understand what I needed to change and then some of the steps that I took to change it. And I hope it really makes a difference for you. If it has I’d really appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends and leave some comments there in iTunes or on the website or both. My name is Thomas Miller.


Podcast 13 – Rules, Rules, Rules – Pt. 2

We continue our 3-part series on how we all get pre-disposed to “do life”.  This is the tipping point – Choice.  Listen as we explain a breakthrough moment that can un-link you from that which doesn’t serve you.


Podcast 13 – Rules, Rules, Rules Part 2

You’re listening Subconscious Mind Mastery podcast number 13.

This is part 2, a sequel of podcast number 12. So if you have not listened to 12, if somehow you landed here first, please drop back and listen to 12. We’ll be right here when you get back, I promise, we’re not going anywhere. And you won’t get what we’re talking about if you don’t go back to 12, because I’m just going to pick up and we’re going to roll on from number 12. So stop back there and then we’ll see you back here. If you’ve already listened to 12, welcome back, let’s roll on. You saw how life was formulated for me because of that programming. And the thing that you have to understand is the intensity. It’s not that it … if anything else were normal there’s no argument here. There is no issue. But because of that 200 times intensity, that was the catching deal of why those first 22 months were so dramatic when all of a sudden that was gone. It was a separation breakdown. And look, I was a kid in the 60s and a teenager in the 70s and I didn’t rebel. I really was a great kid growing up because I didn’t want to deal with that 200 times upset. And that’s also why the religiosity fit in so well for me. Well, also because there wasn’t really a choice, but that’s beside the point. It was either live or die.

And I say all of this in the context of my mom passed away just a couple of months ago in February. And it was because of this healing, this process that I’m talking about with you in this podcast, and what happened to me through what I’m going to outline in this podcast, allowed me to be at her bedside with my brother and his wife holding my mom while she took her last sips of air. And so this material and this work that you can do and that I did, allowed me to be in that place. And so this is not dishonoring my mom for who she was. She was who she was. This is honoring her by the very process of saying that you and I can change whatever was given to us. Look, she did the best she could. And that’s what I saw that Mother’s Day in that service in Dallas was I just … the veil pulled back and I saw her heart and it just made me weep.

Now look, this was my story. And you have to catch what it was for you. And you’ll have to do your own work with this. For me it took about 18 months probably before all of the context of this came into place. But it took me gathering resources from a lot of different places before I could package the whole thing together and get the clarity. What worked for me may not work for you. The ingredients of what I’m going to tell you in this podcast may not work for you. There’s also a context that you, you know, I listen to hours of material and hours of these broadcasts on Hay House Radio and listened to the Science of Getting Rich and Kelly Howell’s brainsync.com programs. And just all of this, it took all of this together, combined, and the ingredient of time. So if you’re in the midst of it and you’re trying to see your way out of a dark box, just hang in there and stay with this process and give it the ingredient and the seasoning of time and just stay in the inquiry of wanting to get to the bottom of it because that’s ultimately what got me there. What you’re looking for is that package of how you are the way you are, why you look at the world the way you do, why you respond to things the way you do, why you interact with others the way you do, why there are personality conflicts in relationships where they show up, why some things work in your life and why some things don’t.

So from this early programming that takes place in those formative years of our life, two things start to happen. Life itself programs us. We begin to develop belief systems based on correlations between if then situations, if I do this then this happens, therefore I believe that x plus y equals z. But the problem is we often build that as a hard fixed rule about life. And the older we get and the more that we start to have more experiences based on our reactions and interactions from that early programming, then life unfolds either positively, negatively or for some, I guess, neutral. But from that early programming, life starts to unfold. And then we narrow down our rules and our beliefs because it’s happening to us the way that that original programming starts to unfold for us. And see the problem with this is you just don’t have to look very far else outside your life before you see somebody who has built a different set of rules and a different set of beliefs and life is working for them according to those rules and beliefs. And that negates your rules and beliefs. And you have to be really careful what you hold onto.

Let me give you two examples, remember from previous podcasts, the pastor who when I was about 25 years old told me that I was his biggest disappointment. And that subconsciously programmed me for the rest of my adult life. And it was so subtle I didn’t catch it. We were sitting in Vale, Colorado when that happened and there weren’t any fireworks up on the mountain and there wasn’t some plane flying by with a banner that says, ‘Thomas, you’re the biggest disappointment in my life’. It was subtle. It just was a passing statement. And the conversation went on, but I didn’t hear anything else.

Take in contrast, former President Carter, my friend Stewart Couch, a couple of podcasts back, the one on life and death programming, Stewart is involved with the Carter Center and has known President and Mrs. Carter for many years. And he was recently down in Georgia at a conference down there. And Stewart and I were talking about the excitement of that, he was really lit up by the weekend. And we were talking about President Carter and I was telling him that how I thought President Carter was so amazing because here was a man who came from almost relative obscurity, I mean he owned a peanut business in Georgia and then became governor of Georgia. And then one day ran for president and became president of the United States. And President Carter has written about this. But Stewart reminded me of the story that a school teacher – one of his school teachers in class one day said to the class, “It wouldn’t surprise me if one of you boys grew up to become president one day.” Now, there were obviously several boys in the class. I don’t remember the exact story. President Carter has written about it. But nobody else heard it, but President Carter, Jimmy Carter, young student Jimmy Carter, in a passing moment the conversation went on, caught that and it stayed with him. And his subconscious mind became programmed, and he said, “You know what; I’m going to become president one day.” Does that not send chills down your spine?

So you see how the package of you comes together, genetically predisposed to certain things, very early formative programming from your environment, from your parents or whoever raised you, whoever was in your life at that time, all of the emotions, all of the circumstances, the happy, the sad, the intensity, the dysfunctionality, all of that goes into a big package that becomes you, and you start to experience life, life starts to unfold according to that experience and then you start to develop rules and beliefs about how life is. Now look, I know some guys who I’ve hung out with over the years who are amazingly successful. And it’s just like they came out of school that way.

I remember one guy in particular who ended up in the real estate business here in the Dallas, Fort Worth area and he came out of college and literally stepped into this amazing job. His personal aura, his energy is so amazingly high all the time, and he’s been that way for the last 30 years, made tons of money and been tremendously successful in a booming, what over those period of decades was a booming industry here in Dallas, Fort Worth. Well guess what, life didn’t hand him what it handed me in those early years. He got a different start. So by college he had developed a bunch of beliefs and rules that life was a playground, life was a fun place, a sandbox and he was going to go have fun and he was going to make a lot of money doing it, and that was his belief system. And it served him according to those beliefs, all of his adult life. He stayed the same, family still together, great career, stayed at the same church all these years, life is good. He would turn this off because it’s not for him. But for those of us who had a different path and things started out differently, we have some work to do.

But you can see how all of those experiences develop who we are. And so when we launch into adulthood, that’s the vibration, like I was talking about my friend, that’s the vibration that we go out into life with. And that’s the vortex, if you watch Esther Hicks and Abraham on YouTube, that’s the vortex that she’s talking about. That’s the law of vibration. That’s the energy around the law of attraction. Do you see how that is so early programmed into us? And then life starts to unfold according to that programming. And we’re not aware of it as kids. I guarantee you, my friend thought that that was just the way life was and he would look around and wonder why so many people had so many challenges, because his psychology just wasn’t there. He couldn’t identify with it. I would look at a guy like that and say, “There’s a freak of nature. He’s not normal.” Or you look at him and you wonder how in the world does a guy like that get so lucky? It wasn’t about luck, he had just formulated early on in his life a series of beliefs that that could happen for him.

Here’s something that’ll knock you between the eyes. I’m reading Frederick Dodson right now; the book is called Parallel Universes of Self. He says this, he says, “Everybody in your life is somebody that you attracted.” You think, oh, no way. Well, that’s why I said, this’ll hit you right between the eyes. But if you think that you are a resonant magnet out there in the world, that’s the law of attraction. That’s Esther Hicks, that’s Abraham, that’s the vortex, that’s all of this. When you step out of your door tomorrow morning, you’re a magnet out there in the world. As I read over those sentences several times, absorbing the magnitude of that statement, I took a piece of paper out and started to write down some of the major people that had showed up in my life through the decades, wrote them down over on the left hand side of the page. And then on the right hand side next to each one, I left some space underneath each person, and I wrote down what state of mind I was in, what were the things that I was most interested in at that time, what were my passions and desires? Where was my heart? Where was my thinking? Just what was my state when those people showed up? And then I listed some of the characteristics of those people and who they were in my life at that time, positively or negatively. And when I looked at who they were and where I was, there was an amazing similarity. So I would just suggest you try it on, everything that’s in your life right now, everything you have or don’t have, all the people, the places, the things are all there from your resonating magnet out there in the world.

Now, let me tell you about Darren Weissman, that’s spelt W-E-I-S-S-M-A-N, Darren Weissman, he’s out of Chicago and he’s one of the Hay House authors and does a radio show on Hay House Radio. He is a chiropractor but has done a deep dive study into all of this and has created from his medical practice and from his observation of his patients; he has created this amazing thing called The Lifeline Technique. You’ll have to do your own research on what that is. But I want to tell you how it affected me, because it’s an amazing process where he goes into your energy field and literally can read all the way back to the defining moments in your childhood and even beyond if it warrants. And so one thing that that opened up to me as I kept listening to his material and I would listen to him interact with callers on the phone and how they would respond when he would get back into those years that I’ve been talking about. And one thing that I had to destroy was my rule about how far back this programming could take me, because I think I had really built a rule that I guess life begins when you’re a teenager or something, I don’t know. But I didn’t think those early years were that important. But in listening to Dr. Weissman go through this lifeline technique procedure with people on the phone, he would always get back to something that happened early on. And in some cases he would even go back to the womb or something that was going on before the womb.

And he would start to talk about situations going on in the mother’s life or something going on in the home when that child was in the womb. And like I said, for me, it just became destroying another rule, because somehow I had a rule that that didn’t matter. But in the lifeline technique, Dr. Weissman would tell people in let’s say at the age of seven, “You were in an environment of fear.” And when he would say that, you’d hear people gasp on the other end of the phone or they’d start laughing if it kind of triggered them that way. And in some cases they’d start crying because it would just hit them that, oh my gosh, that’s … and you know, when you get to the root of it, when you get to the bottom of all of this, it is so liberating and so freeing. And it’s like the lights go on at that point. But I think we often build such a veil over those early experiences that we literally just almost black them out. Now, this is such a surface skim of what he does in this process, it almost doesn’t do it justice. But I want you to get the sense.

Let’s use my example, if he were doing this lifeline technique on me, he would be able to literally go back and identify through his process, he would be able to get to 22 months, he’s able to count it down. And he would say, “At the age of 22 months you were in a situation of abandonment and fear.” And he would be able to see what that caused in my life. And then he would ask, “At the age of 22 months, if you knew everything you knew today (is the context) would you choose fear and abandonment as the defining characteristics of your life? Would you choose that consciously? In other words, would you say, I’m going to go out and live the rest of my life in fear and abandonment?” And of course, it’s almost a silly answer because of course it’s no, with about five exclamation marks behind it. And that’s the point; it’s not that we chose it. We were programmed into it because at 22 months, I didn’t have the conscious ability to analyze my life and say, “If I choose to do this, then I will likely have this certain outcome.” It just was stamped into me. And I as a little human soul began to react to my environment in the best way that I could figure out at the time. And then what Dr. Weissman would ask is, “What do you choose now? What do you choose today? Do you choose fear and abandonment today?” I would say, “No.” And then he would say, “Well, because you have a choice, what would you choose?” And I would say things like, “Confidence, security, pride, contribution.”

At that point you define who you want to be, because now you have choice.” “Yeah, but, but, but, but.” And at this point I want you to catch, because at this point, right here, you are fighting against your past. And whenever you see the words, ‘yeah, but’, show up in your internal conversation, catch that, stop right there, get your journal out and write down what that yeah, but, reaction is, yeah, but life isn’t safe, I can’t go there, I can’t do that, somebody will let me down. And your yeah, but is the pivot point that’s keeping you from what you could become and what you can today right now choose to become and your past. It’s the bridge between you and your past, yeah, but… So catch your yeah, but’s, that’s your resistance, that’s what’s keeping you in your belief system from going where you want to go. You’ve got to break those yeah, but’s down. And they’re strong, I get it, they’re strong.

And I also at this point just want to recognize again that no doubt about it in my mind, with the numbers of downloads that this website is starting to generate, that some of you have had abusive scars in your past that are beyond what I could even imagine. My heart goes out to you and I am incredibly sensitive to your pain. You should continue to seek the best help you can find. But only you can determine when it’s safe enough for you to look deep inside. And don’t go there until you’re ready. All I can tell you is that I was a tough case emotionally, my scars were very deep. And I can tell you that the resources and the process of how I changed my life, this is part of the process that I used and these were some of the most dramatic parts that really made the shift for me. And I’ve got to tell you, I am loving my life right now. So if that gives you hope that you can get there, but you have to get back to the point where you say, “I have the ability to choose and I choose…”

We are indeed going to go into part 3 and when we get to part 3 we’re going to talk about how to lay down our identity, because when we’re able to finally release what doesn’t work for us, that’s when the universe opens up. And it is a very magical playground out there.

My name is Thomas Miller. I’ll see you over on number 14.


Podcast 12 – Rules, Rules, Rules – Pt. 1

Beginning from the day we’re born, and even the time we’re born, as you’ll hear, we start getting programmed to “do life”.  There are two critical time periods in our early development that greatly affect the rest of our lives.  Also, there are genetic predispositions, maternal and paternal (or whomever you were raised by) influences, sibling, society, religion, observation, interpretation, success, failure, pain and pleasure.  All these and more are the ingredients of what formulated your life, and we create rules and beliefs around all of these things.  Problem is….you only have to look at someone else’s life to realize that all the beliefs and rules we construct for ourselves, don’t necessarily hold true elsewhere!  Then….we have to be willing to take a look inside.

This podcast is Part 1 of exploring how so many of these factors influence who we are.  This is the groundwork.  In Part 2 we’ll explore how we can consciously and subconsciously modify or altogether alter this programming to take us in the direction we want our lives to go.  And if you’re a parent, this material can help you a lot as you are in the awesome and magnificent task of formulating a human soul.


This is Subconscious Mind Mastery podcast number 12.

Hi! My name is Thomas Miller. Thank you for joining us, if you can pick this up on iTunes or you if you caught us off the website at subconsciousmindmastery.com, whether it’s your first stop in or whether you are a subscriber, welcome back. We have quite a topic that we’re going to talk about. In fact why don’t we start a sequel because looking through all the notes that I have in front of me, there’s no way that we’re going to get through this in a normal 20 minute session. And I’m trying to keep these to 20 minutes because asking for five or six minutes of your time is a lot to ask, 20 is, you know, that’s even bigger. But trying to say let’s do this for 45 minutes or an hour together at the same thing, I just, I don’t know, maybe the Twitter generation has influenced me, I’m trying to settle on 20. I don’t know how that’s working for you but I don’t think we’re going to get through everything that we have to get through in near that. So this is probably number 12, number 13, and it might even roll into number 14. But we’ll get started. Now, I have to tell you I’m a little bit excited and a little bit intimidated at getting ready to do this podcast because I know where we’re going. I have quite a few pages of outline notes.

But basically I’m going to tell you how I turned my life around and the ingredients or the recipe. This is the recipe. This is the potpourri. This is the stuff that went into, if you were to say, “Wow, how do I turn my life around?” You know, if you ask the question, if you were to ask me, “How do you turn your life around? I don’t like where I am, I want to go some other direction.” And it might not be your whole life. Let’s just don’t say it, may not be as dramatic as what it was for me. It just might be, you’d like to shift a particular area of your life. A lot of people are looking to change their career path. Or you might want to live in a different geographic location. Whatever it is, I think you’re going to find something very helpful in what we’re going to talk about. At the same time as we unravel this, especially as we get to the crescendo it might get a little emotional for you, especially if there are some deep scars, so be aware of that. See there’s no way that on a podcast like this I’m looking at a microphone. I have no idea who’s beyond it and behind it. And I don’t know about you and what’s going on in your life. But I can only imagine for a podcast that’s already reached over a dozen countries, and has had a lot of downloads, that there are a lot of slices of life. And so I empathize with wherever you are.

You might be on top of your game and you’re looking to push it a little bit farther, to perform a little bit better. If that is the case, welcome, I think you’ll get something out of this. You might be in the depths of despair. And you might not know what tomorrow even holds. And if that’s the case I think you’ll find something of value as well. So mostly, thank you for listening, this is my story. This is what I did. And I trust that somewhere you’ll lock on and find something that jumps out at you, that you can take and run with for yourself, because really the answers, folks, the answers are within you. Now, it’s great to get outside resources. We need them. You need to read books and go to seminars and get counseling if that’s appropriate, and listen to podcasts, and digest material and read blogs and there’s a great support community out there. But it’s all outside of you. And what I want you to be especially careful is that you don’t listen to anything that doesn’t point you back to yourself because ultimately the answers are within. And that’s what we’re going to see. I think by the end of this series you’ll see what we’re talking about. Now listen, I was a tough case and this is the reason that I’m doing this podcast now and this blog, is to say that, “Look, if it can work for me, it can work for you.”

Now, I’ve titled this Rules, Rules, Rules because what you’re going to see as we unpack this is that through the experience of life we construct all kinds of rules around how life should be. And these are formulated from our childhood, from our earliest development. And there are some specific key things that happen early on that trigger these rules and their development. And then we live the rest of our life out in the context of these rules. For me, mine came a lot from church. If you’ve listened to some of the past podcasts, you know I came from a fundamentalist Christian family in Tulsa, Oklahoma. And we had a lot of rules. We had family rules and we had church rules. And the thing about church rules is they’re from God. So it’s man’s interpretation of God, but it’s when you’re taught that it’s from God, from a man or a person or your mother, you’re taught as though this is the way it is. And there’s no bending. Now, there’s a lot of great truth in all religions. And there’s a lot of great truth in Christianity. But there’s also a lot of manmade crap that will lead you off course and can really mess your life up. Now, that’s another subject for another time. We’ll get into that later. But you get the point, that we build a lot of rules around our lives and unraveling those rules, unthreading those rules is what really made the change for me.

I mentioned counseling a minute ago, now some of you are taking counseling sessions working with a therapist. And I did as well, spent quite a bit of time and money on therapy, particularly surrounding my first divorce which was when I was 39/40 years old, right in that timeframe. And while there were benefits and I learned different perspectives, it didn’t really help. It didn’t connect for me. And that’s what I’m saying is, I know there are a lot of people out there that have grabbed onto a lot of different resources. And there’s still something missing. And there was for me, and it was really frustrating to not be able to tie all of it together. And I’m going to tell you how I did and what ingredients went into me tying it together. And like I said, hopefully some of that will help, but counseling didn’t. Now, I’m not discounting counseling and therapy, there are some great therapists out there. I had a couple of really good ones. But there are some that will just waste your time and money.

And that’s what a doctor said to me, she said, “Look, just go to Landmark Education, it’s some of the best, cheapest counseling you’ll ever get.” And that is an awesome program. And I would encourage you, if you are in counseling and therapy and you wanted to look, if it’s not working for you and you wanted to look at something else look up Landmark Education on the internet, find a place close to you and give it a consideration. You can always just go check it out and see if it’s something that you’d like to explore. But it really did help open me up to a new dimension that I wasn’t getting from traditional therapy. I think the gap for me in counseling was that it was kind of like a Band-Aid on a wound, but the wound hadn’t healed yet, you know, it felt better, it stopped some of the bleeding. But in the end the wound was still unhealed and it was only a matter of time until it got infected again. So what I had to do was get even under that layer of skin and heal it from a deeper area. And that’s what I’m going to tell you in this podcast, because it was like turning the Titanic for me and avoiding the iceberg.

So we build all kinds of rules and constructions around our life. And they’re so deep and they’re so built in that you don’t even know when you’re exercising one of your rules. I was having dinner with one of my college roommates last night. We still keep in touch and meet regularly and we were talking about this very thing. And he was telling me how there were subtle little things that would come up that other people would have to tell him. “Now see, look, you’re doing it right there.” And he was like, “Oh my gosh, really.” So this is where a good buddy can help you along the way too, somebody that’s an accountability partner or somebody that will help you walk down this journey, because there are a lot of blind spots. I have a coach right now and my coach is absolutely amazing. And my coach will not let me get away with saying something that takes me back to one of my old patterns, catches it right there in the spot and just nails it and then I have to face it and deal with it. But these rules are programmed or built into our life from several sources. They’re learned by observation. They’re taught by others, our parents, our church, our social setting or surrounding, school teachers etc. You get the point.

Now, some of who we are just comes genetically prewired. And I didn’t really understand the full context of this until I opened up, I let a rule down, I laid a rule aside and started studying astrology, not the predictive form, I’m talking about the personality traits side of astrology. But see, growing up for me astrology was always of the devil. And that was one of my rules and it wasn’t until I finally looked at it from a standpoint, you know, there’s some really amazing consistent information that I’m seeing here. I found a guy by the name of Mark Husson, he’s one of the Hay House authors and has a radio show on Hay House Radio which is an internet website, if you haven’t been there you ought to check it out, hayhouseradio.com. And Mark Husson is one of the guys I listened to over there and Darren Weissman is the other. And I’m going to talk about Darren little bit later on. But while I was working, doing like what you’re doing right now, I would listen to some of Mark Husson’s shows and really found it interesting because he would talk mostly about how somebody’s … well, your birthday, how your birthday affects your personality and the way that you naturally tend to respond to life’s situations. And it really is an amazing study on both behavior and interaction. So it’s how you interact with other people. And when you start to learn some of this you’ll see how not only you are wired, but how other people are wired.

And guys, I’ve got to tell you, I was blind to how other people were wired. I didn’t go over to the other side of the fence and try to see life from their perspective. But when I started to study and learn this I realized that there are so many different ways that people view the same world. And so if I’m dealing with somebody who sees it from one perspective and I know where my perspective is and I know what my natural tendency is, it’s made it so much easier for me to interact with other people. I’m a Scorpio and I work with a Pisces. And Scorpios and Pisces interact well together. And so as I’ve understood the guy that I work for and how he looks at life, sure enough, when he reacts in certain ways I just run it through that filter. Yeah, there you go. I understand, I get it. And I’m able to just let stuff bounce off because that how he’s responding, it’s not how I would respond. But I get that he looks at it through a different prism. The other thing that I think is interesting about this side of astrology, not the predictive side, the predictive side gets a little bit more dicey, but the other thing is that this will show you where the energy is more highly concentrated in your life at a given time. Now, I’m a firm believer that you have ultimate choice, and that’s the power of what we’re going to get to by the end of this, is the freedom to choose. But I do believe that everything around us is concentrated and focused energy. And at certain times, energy is more concentrated and focused in certain areas than in others.

And I have no idea how people 6,000 years ago without the internet, figured all this out. But it is an amazing study. Enough about that subject, I just wanted you to get the point, it really opens you up to some really neat cool perspectives. And if you’ve never studied it before, hey, lay down your rule and give it a shot. But the point is when we’re born we have a natural perspective of how we’re going to interact with life itself, before we’ve even taken our third breath, that’s just born into us. That’s how we would naturally respond to something, if we had no influence and no training and no external input, if we were just literally in a perfect vacuum from the day we were born and then we started somewhere out there to respond to life, this is the way that we would naturally do it without any training, without any rules, no interpretations, just the way we would respond naturally. But that’s not the way it works out is it? Because then we start to live life and we have those critical early formative years. Now, if you’re really trying to understand why you are the way you are and why life is the way that it is for you, you have to go back and revisit those first five or six years of your life. And this is what I say, I realize that at this moment we’re crossing into some dangerous territory because for some of you those first five or six years were full of emotional and even physical pain. And if that’s the case then I want you to listen to me a little bit more distantly, alright, keep it out there as just a resource.

Don’t go too far into this emotion right now, listen through this whole thing. And I want you to get the context of this and then you can go back and fit it into how it fits your situation. I didn’t have physical abuse, I had quite a bit of mental and verbal impacts on my life, but I was never physically abused. And I get that if you have been it is one of the scars of life that is the most, I so respect where you are because it is huge and it carries all the way into your adulthood. There is a way to deal with it, I firmly believe that, but I totally get that if somebody says to you, “Go back and look at the first five or six years of your life”, you might have icicles going down your back right now. But it’s ultimately something that you have to address if you’re going to permanently change. I’m talking about getting out of the spin cycle. Let’s don’t keep going around and around and around and not getting anywhere in our life, this is about finally putting this to rest. And yes, there is some discomfort with it. I spent a year journaling about this period of my life and cried buckets of tears. So I’m not saying that this is a painless escape. It’s gnarly, it hurts. It was difficult for me to get to the point of revisiting this. But I’m telling you, in order to heal it, I’m talking about not putting another fresh Band-Aid on a still sore wound, I’m talking about let’s go in and heal the wound.

Really there are two critical age brackets that you have to take a look at, birth up to five/six/seven and then another really critical timeframe is the age between about 10 and 15. For a brief little period there I did a little bit of work a Christian ministry inside prisons. And one of the chaplains of this ministry said that a common thing that he saw among prisoners was that most men he was dealing with, guys that had been incarcerated had some significant major negative thing happen in their lives between the ages of, he said, 10 and 14/15. So I get, again that might bring a flashback for you that’s not comfortable. But let’s go into it and let’s see how we’re going to deal with it because there is a way out. And this thing doesn’t have to hold you for the rest of your life. From those early experiences, we all begin to formulate how life should be. Sometimes it’s just a coping mechanism. It’s survival. Sometimes we connect the dots. It’s an if then correlation, if this happens then I respond like this, I get this kind of result. And you see that pattern a couple of times and you build a rule or a belief around that. Some of it’s taught by our parents or other influences that we’ve already talked about.

So up until this point in my journey, I’d had a church background, had been to counseling, had been through everything that I could get my hands on from Tony Robins, had done almost a year’s worth of journaling, unpacking those early years of my life and it still wasn’t clear. And I kept asking the universe, I kept praying, I kept, show me, show me where the depth of, show me where the bottom of this is. Show me the beginning. Show me how I got completely here. Now, one of the things that kept pointing back was it was the relationship with my mother, yes, I would be one of those that they say has mother issues. In all of my journaling things kept pointing back to mom. Well, it just so happened that on Mother’s Day (how ironic) I was sitting in a Unity church Sunday morning service here in Dallas and they had a meditation from 10 until 11. It was a really cool thing. If you’ve never been to a Unity church, it’s not like your Baptist church or your Methodist church or your Catholic church, it’s quite a bit different. But they had a meditation. It was a bowl meditation where they play the bowls, the harmonic sounds from bowls. And did that for an hour and then went into their version of a worship service. And it was in that service on Mother’s Day, after that meditation that I literally had the veil pulled back and could look in and see my mother’s life from her perspective. And what I saw was a woman who longed to be loved. She never could meet her father’s expectations. She never was good enough.

She didn’t meet my dad until later in life and even in the post-world war 2 generation, they married quite late. Mom was about 30/31 when they got married. So in a generation where all of her friends were 10 years, celebrating their 10 year anniversary, my mom was just getting married. And I came along 12 months later. Now, there’s something else about my mom, she was off the charts extreme, okay, like if normal was a 10, it really exaggerated, was a 12. My mother was a 200. She did everything to excess. No, not excessive, off the charts excessive. And you can imagine, my dad was passive, I mean that’s the only way that could work, right, great man, tons of respect in his lifetime but he was passive in that relationship and he was passive as a father. So what I saw in church that day was this beautiful soul of this young woman in Tulsa, Oklahoma, who had a big hole in her heart and just wanted to be loved more than anything else in the world. And she wanted to give love. And if you don’t think it moved me to tears, I probably tried to contain it in the service, but once I got out in the car I just, you know, let it go.

Well, for her, when I came along in her 200 times excessive mode, you can imagine that I was a little bit over-nurtured. I was paid too much attention. And all of this started to get real clear to me too. I could see myself as a little baby, I mean it’s really weird. And I don’t want you to go off thinking this is, doo, doo, doo stuff. I’m telling you, from that experience on that Sunday morning, just the vision of this in my mind became so clear of this over-focus of attention and love and I appreciated it, but it was too much, it was over, it was excessive. And then 22 months later in the context of having 22 months, almost two full years of this hyper attention, one day mom goes away and my brother comes home. What the hell is this I ask, figuratively of course? But you get the point, because all of a sudden overnight all of this love and attention and affection that was all mine, was gone, or at least divided. But I had been so programmed that I needed that. What that did is it fired off two things right at that point. It fired off abandonment, over-dependency, particularly on women, and a great resentment toward my brother. And I was 22 months old and that ladies and gentlemen is how I began to live the rest of my life. Alright, let’s stop here. In our next podcast we are going to talk about how you can look back into the very essence of those early years, how you’ll see that you really at that point didn’t make a cognitive choice. I’m not going to say you didn’t have a choice, you didn’t make a choice. And we’re going to talk about how you can finally heal those wounds.

My name is Thomas Miller. Thank you very much for joining me through a difficult topic today. We’ll pick it up on the next one, podcast number 13.