Podcast 14 – Rules, Rules, Rules Part 4
You’re listening to Subconscious Mind Mastery podcast number 14, part three of a three part series.
My name is Thomas Miller. If you haven’t caught part 1 or 2, go back to 12 and 13 and get a running start because you won’t get the context of this podcast if you haven’t listened to those other two. But in this one we are going to put a bow around it all and we’re going to wrap everything up and look at how we can deal with these yeah but resistances. And the other big thing that we’re going to cover today is how to deal with our identity because it’s those resistances, it’s that yeah but resistance combined with the accentuation I guess, the enlargement of our self-ego, our identity that keep us from what we want. So that’s what we’re going to unpack in this podcast. And I hope that this series has helped you understand a little bit better of how you got to where you are and why certain things have been the way they are, when it might have been a little bit mysterious before, because this is really, really, really huge. We build out whole lives around these perspectives that we’ve discussed. The world according to me is built on exactly what we’ve talked about, that very early on in our development, sometimes even back into the womb or before the womb, that we were formulated with predispositions or impacted with certain circumstances, stimuli programming that gave us a certain perspective on this new thing that we were born into called life. And from that perspective we basically stepped out into the world as a little magnet and we started to do life.
Life rewarded us according to how we were polarizing, how we were magnetizing, the vortex, that energy that we had. And even as little kids we started to build interpretations and beliefs about how life was, lots of if then correlations of the circumstances that if I do this and I get that result then we program our belief system from there. And then a lot of things are taught to us by our environment, by our parents, our school, our church etc. And all of that goes into what we really probably into our teenage years and live through our teenage years with this perspective of, oh okay, this is life. Some people have a really great start and they end up just sailing through. And literally I think that’s … it’s the combination, it’s generic predisposition and it’s the programming. A lot of us have not had that luxury and we’ve had to work on ourselves. And I would dare say that most of us find ourselves in the latter category rather than the former. So we’ve built all these rules up about life. And the problem is, is if we look at somebody else’s life and they’ve built a different set of rules and those rules might be an opposite polarity of our rules, but yet life works for them according to their rules and life works for us according to our rules. And so you can’t say that our rules are ‘right’, right by whose interpretation? They’re right for us because that’s how we’ve interpreted that we need to build a belief system in order to in essence, survive this thing called life, which we find as sometimes not safe.
So the biggest key, I’m telling you, this is the 80/20 rule of what I did to turn myself around is when I finally was able to give up those rules. And I will tell you, it is the hardest process you will go through because those are your rules. You worked hard to develop those rules. Life itself has put together that bundle of rules for you. This is how you believe the way that it is. Now let me stop and say right here, if life is working for you, then don’t listen to this, turn it off, because those are the rules that you want to ultimately develop, is the rules that make life work for you. I am talking to the people here that have been challenged and that are struggling and that have stuff in their life that doesn’t work well for them. That’s the audience for this series. If life is working for you, great, then don’t change what has got you there. Pardon the bad grammar.
I have a good friend right now in my life who is in that second category, that it just, life just works for this guy and it has for a long time. And he moves and he sails through life so almost effortlessly. And everything he touches does well. And I sent him an email the other day and I said, “Well I know you well enough to know that I can just say congratulations on things going well.” You know how normally we send an email and we say, “I hope things are going well for you?” Well I just said, “Hey, congratulations, I know things are going well for you.” And he sent back lol. He thought that was funny. But that’s where we want to get to and that’s what this whole website and podcast is all about is how to reprogram that old programming, because it is, it’s stuck in our subconscious minds. And our subconscious minds are that driver, that spiritual force, that unconscious propeller if you will, that directs our lives in a certain way according to that programming. We press certain programming on the subconscious mind, it locks onto that and it goes out to fulfill it. So for example, my friend is programmed towards success. So he wakes up in the morning and certain things are just working for him, things are lined up, phone calls are ready, emails are in his box and that’s what he intended to do. A lot of us wake up with a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety and stress.
And our life unfolds according to that programming because our subconscious mind is fulfilling what our conscious mind is pressing upon it day after day, emotion after emotion. And this is where you have to guard every single thought that you allow yourself to hold in your mind. Thoughts can come and go, you can have a thought about, oh that jerk driver, and then you can just let it go. And you go “No, no, no, I’m sorry, negate that, I didn’t mean to say that, I bless that person, hey, I hope they have a happy day.” And you can, literally, you can, like a ping pong ball you can have a thought come in and you can whack it back out. But there are other thoughts that we hold on to and those are the ones that you have to have an extra sensitive alert guard of what you’re thinking at any given moment, because it’s those thoughts, and as Napoleon Hill would say, if you combine the thought with the intensity of the emotion of love or the passion of sex, go read Think and Grow Rich, he talks about this in one of the early chapters. It’s great stuff. It’s the thoughts that you hold with that intense emotion, it’s those thoughts that impress the subconscious mind. So if you wake up like I did in the RV for a year there with just fear and terror and anxiety, that’s what’s being impressed on your subconscious mind. That’s what’s programming your subconscious mind.
And so what we’re about here is to identify that, that’s what we’re doing in this three part series and then a lot of techniques of how you can un-program and reprogram that to the life that you really love. Okay. Sorry, I got off track there a little bit. But really this is so important. And this is the deal, it’s yeah but, wherever you see yourself in the resistance of yeah but, Thomas, you don’t understand. Yeah, but I can’t give up that because that’s the way that we used to do it. Oh, here’s a big one, yeah, but our religion teachers or yeah, but look, my life is a mess right now and what you’re telling me to do is to believe that it could be any different, or like the conversation I had last night, “Yeah, but you don’t understand my job and you don’t get my boss.” Yeah but, wherever you see yeah but, I want you to stop, get your journal out and write about it, yeah but, here some yeah but resistance showed up for me today. And unpack that. Stop right there, if you have to wait to do it, I would do it right in the moment because that’s where the intensity of the emotion is, if you at all can, do it in the moment, if you can’t, set it aside but come back to it and get back into that emotion of that yeah but. And unpack that resistance. Where is it coming from? Trace it back.
Follow the steps that we’ve talked about in these podcasts, trace it back to the point of origin in your life, when did this first show up. Ask yourself, why is this emotion so strong for me right now. Find out why it’s serving you. What is it that is in your life or has been in your life where the payoff is, what is this doing to serve you? Because you wouldn’t hold onto it if it wasn’t serving you in some way, so it’s protecting something. And if you connect what bad emotions or what … I won’t say bad emotions, that’s not the correct phrasing, it’s the emotions that aren’t leading you where you want to go. If you can capture those emotions and then figure out what it is in your past that that’s changed to, it’s coupled with something, and if you find what that’s changed to, that’s where you need to go back and deal with that issue. And in dealing with that issue, there might be reprogramming that needs to take place. The people involved might not be alive anymore, you might not be able to go back and reconcile with them if it was a person involved. It might be a series of things where look and you just say, “Oh, I see how life has been according to this pattern.” And that’s where you have to shift that magnet vortex. Is this making sense to you? I hope that it is and I hope that it’s been beneficial.
I had somebody send me an email yesterday and just said, “Thank you Thomas.” And it had about eight exclamation marks after it. And so I really appreciate that. And by the way, if you wouldn’t mind, hit the comment box or the voting on iTunes, I would really appreciate that, if you’d take just a minute and vote and leave a comment, I’d love to know how this is impacting you. So if you’re willing to capture those yeah but moments, those points of resistance, that area when you just, man you’re dug in and this is the way it’s going to be, the next biggest thing that you’re going to have to deal with is yourself, and I’m saying self with capital S, your ego, your essence, your identity, because who we are is really an accumulation of all these beliefs and rules that we … that’s how we go out and do life. So what I’m suggesting you do is that you be willing to lay down the rules and release the identity that is so attached to you.
I’ve been working through this and this is where I am in my process right now, for myself. I told you I had a coach, I’ve been working with this coach for about six months. And when we first started I had so many yeah but’s, it wasn’t even funny. I couldn’t wait for my coach to say something so that I could just say, “Yeah, but.” It almost became sport, because I also realized that one of the biggest, deepest, ingrained things that I had going on my psyche and my belief system was that I had to be right every time, game over, I had to be right. And I would do anything in the world to be right and to make you wrong if I had to, so that I could be right. And now I can tell you, the veil is falling off. Here’s also where it would be really great to have an accountability partner, somebody who understands this and understands you enough so that when you get caught back in your stuff and you get back in that rut, because we all do, they can help snap you out of it. They can help bring you out and say, “Wait a minute; you’re going back in that direction. So that’s why I have a coach and we talk on the phone once a week.
And I have my buddy from … who was a roommate in college who I offended at one point in our lives together about 20 years ago. I really offended him. And we were able fortunately to patch up our relationship and now we meet regularly and I go hang it out there, I tell him everything. And I tell him, “Look, I’ve had a bad week, I’ve really been up in it this week.” In fact that was kind of our last conversation. And he helps bring me back out of that. So you need to build that into your life. It’s invaluable. Don’t go at this alone, you need people around you who will help you and hold you accountable to this, because as you identify it and you start to rebuild it then you get a new habit system. And then after a certain period of time you’ll know yourself when you’ve crossed the line because the new programming is so entrenched now that when you violate it like you used to all the time, it really catches you, it stands out, like oh man, I’m going back to that again, whoa, wait, wait, wait, let’s turn, shift back, breathe, that’s not who I am anymore.
Okay, I’ve given you yeah but, I want to give you two more words because this is the shift point. So we’ve identified it and you’re willing to release it, great, excellent, let me welcome you to the rest of your life. How do you step into it? The two words I want to give you are ‘I am’. Wayne Dyer talks about this but it’s not his, believe me, I mean you can trace it back to the old testament where God said, “I am” up there on the mountain when he was giving the 10 commandments (more rules) to Moses. I’m just kidding, but you get the point. Okay. I am, is setting the essence of I am ignoring where I am today. I am setting the intention, I am creating the who I am now.
You remember in the last podcast I told you about Darren Weissman – Dr Darren Weissman and his lifeline technique. After he has looked back with people at that defining moment, that moment of fear in their life when they were 22 months old, then he creates the new who I am. He says, “You wouldn’t choose fear to define you would you? Would you at 22 months old if you could, choose to live the rest of your life in fear?” You say, “Of course not.” Well the next question is who are you now? What do you choose? This is your greatest power is your ability to choose. And so you say, “I choose to be bold and dynamic, powerful and courageous.” And in that lifeline technique process that he does he has people state that in a sentence, “I am bold, dynamic, powerful and courageous.” And if you’ll do that for yourself and say it with that kind of emotion for yourself, it’s amazing how you feel, it just … it lifts you up. So what you’re doing is you’re creating an I am statement and putting it out there into the universe. You’re saying, “I am bold, dynamic, powerful and courageous.” Now, you might look around your life and you don’t see bold or dynamic or powerful, courageous, you don’t see the fruit of that, you don’t see the presence of that. And that’s where we say the other two words, ‘yeah but’, yeah but Thomas, my life is all messed up and you don’t understand, I’m not bold and I’m not dynamic. And we let today’s current circumstances dictate who we are. And so what we say is, “I am my current circumstances.” And that’s that spin cycle that we never get out of.
To make this work in your life you have to say, “I am bold, dynamic, powerful, courageous” when everything around you says otherwise. But this is where you are changing your identity. Let’s say you want to be an author, so you would say, “I am a published author. I am a writer.” Now, what do writers do? Well they write, right. So if you’re saying, “I am a writer”, the next thing you have to do is take steps in the direction of being who you are saying you are, because ultimately isn’t it the actions that we take that define the results that we get? And so if you say, “I am a writer”, not, “I want to be”, you don’t say, “I want to be a writer”, want creates a gap because you’re here, being a writer is over there and there’s a distance, there is a missing element between you and there and that is a publishing contract. So you say, “I want to be a writer one day.” No. No, no, no, change that, “I am a writer.” And writers write. So every day spend some time writing, that’s what I’m doing, so why don’t you come join me if that’s what you want to do. But whatever it is say, “I am” and step into the reality, the identity of that I am.
I gave a speech about this to a group of people just this past week who are wanting to become speakers. And when I talked about stepping into the identity of being a speaker now, I said, “Think about, if you could … think about a successful public speaker who’s doing it successfully, if you could step into their world, step into their identity, if you could become them, if you could have their contact book for 24 hours, if you could know what they know and have experienced what they’ve experienced, and you could own that identity, how would that change your perspective on everything. And then so much beyond that, how much would that change your actions of what you did every day? If you knew what they knew and if you had experienced what they’d experienced, and if you thought the way they thought, it would completely shift your dynamic.” Well, you can almost do that by taking on this new identity by saying, “I am a public speaker, and I’m successful and I’m booked 52 weeks a year.” And then what do you do? Well, if you’re a speaker, speakers speak. And if you don’t have anybody paying you to speak right now, Toastmasters is a great way to go get some speaking experience. And in the process you’re going to keep developing your I am a public speaker. What will happen is the universe will come along and support your I am statement because it won’t let you hang out there by yourself for very long as an I am identity without coming along to support you to fulfill that.
But do you see how carefully we have to guard our thoughts, because if you say, “I am a loser, I am fearful, I am someone who life just doesn’t work for.” Or let’s take a negative, “I am too good for this. I am someone with too much experience to be doing this.” Well if you are then why aren’t you? See we sometimes conjure up false I am’s in order to cover up what isn’t working in our life. And that brings us back full circle to lay it down. If you’re willing to give it up then you can rebuild it with a new I am. So create a new I am today that serves you and that takes you in the direction of where you want to go. If you say, “I am love. I am a person of love.” Well, go find somebody to love today, go find an animal to love today, but go find some expression of love that’s new in your life.” If you say, “I’m a person of peace, I choose to be at peace”, then take steps to go do something to be at peace, go meditate, go do yoga, go pray.
The other thing I would suggest you do is to write this down on an index card and keep it by your bedside. In fact, I would keep it in several places. That’s what I do. I keep it in my car and I keep it up on the bathroom mirror and I keep it by my bedside. I keep it in a journal and I have an electronic journal so I am kind of a little bit over the top. You know what they say, “The acorn doesn’t fall too far from the tree.” But I’ve written stuff up on the bathroom mirror for several years now and every day I make sure that I take some kind of a step toward the identity that I’ve created, even if it’s five minutes, take some kind of action.
So basically this podcast series has outlined a lot of the major points that it took for me to change my life from this point to that. The comprehension, the understanding that I had to achieve in order to understand what I needed to change and then some of the steps that I took to change it. And I hope it really makes a difference for you. If it has I’d really appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends and leave some comments there in iTunes or on the website or both. This is Subconscious Mind Mastery. My name is Thomas Miller.