This is Subconscious Mind Mastery podcast number 16.
Today we’re going to talk about what you do when it sucks.
Hi, my name is Thomas Miller, welcome back to the podcast. If you are rejoining us from a previous one, if this is your first time, there are 15 great podcast episodes behind this one but welcome aboard, we are glad to have you. You know, sometimes it just doesn’t all come together the way that you have crafted it or designed it in your mind and sometimes it hasn’t come together so well that it sucks. That’s what we’re going to talk about today. You would know from previous podcasts that this really, this blog and this podcast website is basically kind of me bleeding out my life and that’s where I am right now so really today’s talk is to me and you just get to listen in, because I have something going on in my life right now, today that I have to have this talk with myself. So, I figured, well, since I need to do it for me, I might as well let you listen in as well. What do you do when you can’t find the power? You know, this game called life sometimes really has its dark sides doesn’t it? I was talking to a friend of mine last night who is going through a divorce and it’s a long drawn out process and on top of that finds out that her mother has to have open heart surgery. So, you know, I mean, just, look, life is for real and reality as I’m even thinking about that situation what I’m getting ready to deal with is pale in comparison.
But it’s not about degrees, it’s not that your problem’s bigger than mine or my issue’s bigger than yours, it’s how we are and how we respond to things, that’s what we’re about here and we’re talking about how we program our subconscious mind because how we deal with all of these situations, any situation, any circumstance, if you’re a new visitor you need to go back and do some catching up on some of the previous podcasts because we set the stage in those for what we’re talking about here, we’ve laid the groundwork in 1 through 15 pretty much and now we’re building on that and just taking on life as it unfolds with the concept that everything that happens to you, in one way or another is retained by your subconscious mind and over time, you will program your perspective on life based on those experiences and if you’ve had some challenges with that programming in the past, it is reprogrammable, that’s the good news and that’s why we’re here.
But what about if you’re really psyched up and things are going well and then you kind of hit the wall and it’s not going so well? And usually, you know, usually when you can’t find the power or if your power you feel is being taken away from you, don’t you realize that it’s always usually involving another human being that’s taking it away from you? And I say that in quote unquote obviously, somewhat facetiously because they can’t take anything from you, we give our power away to other people and we think that they take it but it’s all about choice and sometimes people just hammer us so much that you just are so beat down, that you think: I don’t have any more to give, I can’t hold on to what I’ve got, I’m depleted. Well, it still boils back down to choice, and that’s what we’re going to unfold, go with me here on this. So, every experience that you and I encounter programs our subconscious mind one way or another, keep that in mind as you’re going through your circumstance and as I’m going to walk through my day today, the one thing that I’ve got just right there is that every response that I have today is going to, one way or another, program me for the future.
Alright, so what’s going on? Well, basically it’s a family thing and isn’t it for you too often? It’s probably either family or work and I’ve been about everything that we’ve talked about in this podcast series, so much healing has been going on in my life but there is one person – there is one person that has not let the wall down and it’s dividing our family at a very special event that’s taking place today and it involves our family getting together, it involves my kids and it involves things not going as I’d expected or hoped. Please, I invite you to write your own story in here, it’s either the person you’re married to, it’s something with your kids, it’s your boss, it’s a co-worker, it’s somebody you hired, whoever it is, you can find your own story within the context of this story, it’s just a story. Whatever’s going on for you, plug in your own details. So, here is one obstinate person that won’t let healing permeate through our whole family and I’ll tell you who, it’s an aunt. It’s an aunt, her name is Pat. And we have a small family. Most of my family is now in spirit and over the years of my growing up, there have been a lot of family division and with my past I certainly contributed to my fair share of it. Well, everybody has basically healed, except Aunt Pat.
Now, Pat is also a Christian and this is, you know, honestly guys I don’t want to beat up the whole Christianity thing, it was my past and my background and I cherish and appreciate a lot of things that came from my upbringing and values that were instilled in me that came from that. And I see that our country has moved away from its Christian roots and I don’t know, you know, you have to take a look at whether you think that’s been a good thing or a bad thing. But, Aunt Pat is very quick to tell you about her Christianity and her lack of forgiveness, and to me you can’t have one without the other. So, after my second divorce, Aunt Pat sent me a letter and said, “We shall have no other dealings with each other. I will keep in touch with your life from others in the family but we are done”. And even though everybody else in the family, in one way or another, we have all reconciled and healed and we’re moving forward, she’s not, and like I said, I would dare bet that you have an Aunt Pat somewhere in your life too, don’t you? So all of this has come together over the last couple of days has just made me want to not even to be around.
So there’s a little family gathering that’s taking place over an event today and Aunt Pat is making a real big statement in neon sign, bold colorful letters that she is not healed in our relationship and as a result the key people in my life who would love to be together as one, there’s no reason why we couldn’t, for some reason today finding that we can’t. So there’s factions, exclusions, divisions and the other thing is I guess for me is just that everything that I’ve been about for the last several years is just kind of on hold through this, while we’re in the presence of Aunt Pat, and that’s what really sucks because it’s like the rest of us have moved on, it’s like come on, you know? But, no, and that’s her choice and that’s totally her prerogative choice and I respect that. So, what do we do? What do you and I do when the Aunt Pats of the world come along? You wish there could be healing, you know that it could be totally different if just there would be a perspective and an openness on the other side. But, there’s not.
Alright, step number one – take a look at what is your normal, natural, default response. Under your old programming model, or let’s say this, let’s put it this way: under the programming model that doesn’t serve you. So you could go back and look over your life and say, “Every time I’ve reacted like this, which is the way I want to react now, what’s been the result? Has it been the way I want my life to unfold in the future? Is it taking me in the direction of the programming that I want in my subconscious mind for future events or is it taking me back to the way that I’ve always seemed to handle things previously?” And identify that. What ground am I standing on right now? And I clearly understand for myself, when I woke up early this morning and just didn’t sleep really well, I knew that I was in my default response mode and for me that is basically, look, I’m a Scorpio, okay. What do Scorpions do? They fling their tale up in the air and they whack, they sting the crap out of you and then they run back under a rock. Well, that’s kind of what I want to do. I want to just bitch slam somebody and then go to Austin for the weekend. So I caught myself and just realized, okay, I’m in the mode and the other thing that I realized is very, very strong for me unpacking this, extracting this from my life is that I have a tendency to always want to have to be right and to make other people wrong so that I can be right. And I know that that’s showing up as well.
So, I’m standing right there waking up this morning looking at the old program and just staring me right back at the face, going, why are you even going to go? These people suck, f*** them. Am I right? So there’s my default response, and I took a look at where else it shows up in my life. Where else have I run this same pattern, family, friends, relationship, job, think about it. In all the places where you would run this natural response, and then you’ve got to ask the question, so, Thomas, how’s that working for you? Not so great. Okay, let’s talk. See, this is where we’re back to the bridge keeper, because the bridge keeper analogy, it’s so cute, you know, when you think about this because the bridge keeper I can just see him standing on the bridge jumping up and down and he’s going, “No, damn it, you can’t go, you can’t go. They’re going to take advantage of you and they’re wrong and you’re right and you’ve done all this work and they’re not and it’s all about her.”
You know, it’s just like, oh, I don’t even want to go there. And you say, “Come on bridge keeper, let’s sit down on this rock over here, and let’s have a talk.” And that’s what I did this morning after I got my arms around this. I really woke up, I’m not kidding, and you do this too, I know, you wake up in the morning, full of emotion, you’ve been mulling on it, your subconscious mind has been dealing with it but dealing with it from the old perspective and that’s why when you wake up in the morning in that mode, it’s coming from that past programming and that’s where you have to consciously now, this is the conscious part of the reprogramming as you consciously have to get with that bridge keeper and say, “Okay, let’s sit down and talk. Bridge keeper, I know, yes, this is how we’ve responded in the past, isn’t it? And bridge keeper, I get that this is how you want me to respond now because it’s the context that you’re coming from and I understand and I agree with you, these people suck right now, this whole situation sucks. But, bridge keeper, we are working on a new dynamic, and bridge keeper, I want you to understand that we’re not going to be able to deal with this one like that, okay?” And I’ll tell you where you can flag this real quickly, is when certain words start to come into your internal conversation, words like ‘always’, words like, ‘I can’t seem to help myself’ or ‘I always end up doing it this way anyway’, ‘I can’t seem to get the power’. Look there, talking about power, there is zero power in any of that so when that conversation comes up, you know you’re in the old programming. So that was what I did this morning, so I had a conversation with the bridge keeper.
Second thing is, this is really powerful, is to identify what you’re standing for, for yourself and for others. This can be the shift point because this is where you find the ground, that ground that you’re going to stand on that is in the direction of where you’re going. So for me, it’s about no longer ever making others wrong, period. The other thing that I’m really committed to are things for myself, so forget about the other people, forget about the reaction that they’re in, forget about the unforgiveness or whatever it is that they’re doing to try to tear you down. What’s going on is that the universe is in the process of bringing to you and me, massive, huge, enormous lessons so that we will grow at the very point that we’ve asked the universe to grow. Man, we should be celebrating. Look, don’t tell the universe that you want to get better in a certain area and then expect smooth sailing. You need to expect to be tested, expect the challenges. So the shift came from recognizing, wait a minute, this isn’t about Aunt Pat and her cohorts. This is about the universe really putting me on the brink of an enormous shift. I did an earlier podcast on one of the seven laws of the universe, the law of polarity and the reason I chose that one over all the other laws is because of this very concept, that for as much negative as might be happening over here, the universe has an equal and opposite, a polar opposite blessing for you on the other side.
And in the midst of this emotion from waking up this morning, I just remembered that and it was, oh, it was so refreshing because then I realized that there is a massive blessing that the universe is in the process of knowing that I am ready and able to walk through this test. So think about the areas where you have wanted to get better and grow and then the universe comes along and says, “Okay, it’s show time. Are you going to step up and play full out and grow or are we going to succumb back to the old programming?” And guess what? The lesson goes back to zero and we start over and we will see the lesson again. So I’m like, okay, let’s just get it over with today and move on. I’m good with that. Remember, how I handle this situation and how you handle your situation is going to create programming, one way or the other. Which will it be, powerful dynamic toward the direction you want to go, or right back to the old loop that doesn’t serve you or serve me?
Point number three, what are you creating? I’m suggesting listing three things that you’re creating in your situation. Mine, for me, number one, I’m creating new relationship dynamics or you might even flip those words around, new dynamic relationships. Number two, a new way of responding and reacting when things aren’t going my way. And number three, being an example that others would want to look up to and follow, of how to handle a difficult situation, of being bigger than my circumstances. You know, so many people are engulfed right now by their circumstances and the world around us needs people who can stand above our circumstances and be leaders, and that’s a goal worth pursuing. Now, I can’t see the final chapter here, I don’t know what’s going to happen, it looks pretty dark and ugly right now but I know that I am committed for myself. And then I went back to those two beautiful words, ‘I am’. Really, really, really address that question for yourself and fill in your own blank. What might it say? And I’m going to be facetious for a minute over the top because I want you to see the difference, but think about the emotion of your situation and how you would normally like to handle it. I am a real turd and I’m going to get my way no matter what. I am a quitter. I am controlled and manipulated by others. I am sheer anger manifest in human form. I am all about what I want and what I demand. I think you get the facetiousness of that.
That did not go on my list and I hope it wouldn’t go on yours but we can get so close to that and sometimes, yeah, we tip over into one of those, to some degree or another, or you might say, I am courageous. I am a creator of a new way of living. I am inspiring to others because I lead by example, especially when the circumstances are obviously against me. That’s where leaders lead, that’s, folks, where courage is born. That’s where our lives are transformed. I am, fill in your own blank.
Step four, release. Throw it all out. Your number one main goal in going through this process is to redefine who you are and what you stand for. So get crystal clear in your own mind what you’re creating. Ask the universe for a blessing in this situation. I promise you that before I walk out of here to go about my day this morning that I will ask the universe for a specific blessing in this situation and then release it back to the universe for that or something better. Let it go. Release yourself from any outcome. Things may turn ugly. Let them, more training for you, better entrenched programming for next time and a bigger blessing on the other side. What’s next? You may be really, really, really offended somewhere along the way or I might be. Great, puts me right in the front row of the class of leadership 101. The bigger the obstacle and the better leader I am, the stronger I grow and the more territory the universe will give me to conquer next time. Bring it. So, stay committed to everything about who you are inside, not tied to what’s going on around you, the circumstances, the people or the events around you. You stay true to you.
And then for step five, I really like what Eckhart Tolle would say here, “Just show up and go be an observer. Check your pain body, your capital E, ego, your capital I, identity, check that at the door. Just show up and go play and be an observer.” Okay, I’m here, nothing in my hand, nothing in my head, I’m just here, observing, watching what’s going on. Being playful, having fun and letting the universe take it from here. At that point, you’ve done your part, I’ve done mine, so let’s let something beyond us go play on our behalf. You see how this will reprogram your subconscious mind, your bridge keeper? And even the more emotion you put into it, or the more emotion is around the situation and the better you respond, the faster you reprogram. This will eventually become a pattern and a habit and it will give you power next time. Hey, I feel better already, how about you? Let’s go out and make it a great one. You enjoy your journey and I’m going to go enjoy mine. You’ve been listening to Subconscious Mind Mastery Podcast 16. Thank you for joining us, my name is Thomas Miller.