There’s so much focus on The Law of Attraction these days. The movie, “The Secret”, revived great interest in how we can concentrate our thoughts and have that manifest in our life. The Subconscious Mind is the portal to the spiritual world. In this podcast, we’ll talk about Manifesting, Tornados and a story from a chapter of my life of how something was born in my mind, and it finally manifest in my life. There were 4 steps that led to the manifestation, and you’ll find out what they are.
Sometimes things just don’t go the way you might have thought they would. What then? Here are 5 steps to consider that might help you through tough times. Reprogram your subconscious mind in the direction you want your life to go!
We continue our 3-part series on how we all get pre-disposed to “do life”. This is the tipping point – Choice. Listen as we explain a breakthrough moment that can un-link you from that which doesn’t serve you.
Podcast 13 – Rules, Rules, Rules Part 2
You’re listening Subconscious Mind Mastery podcast number 13.
This is part 2, a sequel of podcast number 12. So if you have not listened to 12, if somehow you landed here first, please drop back and listen to 12. We’ll be right here when you get back, I promise, we’re not going anywhere. And you won’t get what we’re talking about if you don’t go back to 12, because I’m just going to pick up and we’re going to roll on from number 12. So stop back there and then we’ll see you back here. If you’ve already listened to 12, welcome back, let’s roll on. You saw how life was formulated for me because of that programming. And the thing that you have to understand is the intensity. It’s not that it … if anything else were normal there’s no argument here. There is no issue. But because of that 200 times intensity, that was the catching deal of why those first 22 months were so dramatic when all of a sudden that was gone. It was a separation breakdown. And look, I was a kid in the 60s and a teenager in the 70s and I didn’t rebel. I really was a great kid growing up because I didn’t want to deal with that 200 times upset. And that’s also why the religiosity fit in so well for me. Well, also because there wasn’t really a choice, but that’s beside the point. It was either live or die.
And I say all of this in the context of my mom passed away just a couple of months ago in February. And it was because of this healing, this process that I’m talking about with you in this podcast, and what happened to me through what I’m going to outline in this podcast, allowed me to be at her bedside with my brother and his wife holding my mom while she took her last sips of air. And so this material and this work that you can do and that I did, allowed me to be in that place. And so this is not dishonoring my mom for who she was. She was who she was. This is honoring her by the very process of saying that you and I can change whatever was given to us. Look, she did the best she could. And that’s what I saw that Mother’s Day in that service in Dallas was I just … the veil pulled back and I saw her heart and it just made me weep.
Now look, this was my story. And you have to catch what it was for you. And you’ll have to do your own work with this. For me it took about 18 months probably before all of the context of this came into place. But it took me gathering resources from a lot of different places before I could package the whole thing together and get the clarity. What worked for me may not work for you. The ingredients of what I’m going to tell you in this podcast may not work for you. There’s also a context that you, you know, I listen to hours of material and hours of these broadcasts on Hay House Radio and listened to the Science of Getting Rich and Kelly Howell’s brainsync.com programs. And just all of this, it took all of this together, combined, and the ingredient of time. So if you’re in the midst of it and you’re trying to see your way out of a dark box, just hang in there and stay with this process and give it the ingredient and the seasoning of time and just stay in the inquiry of wanting to get to the bottom of it because that’s ultimately what got me there. What you’re looking for is that package of how you are the way you are, why you look at the world the way you do, why you respond to things the way you do, why you interact with others the way you do, why there are personality conflicts in relationships where they show up, why some things work in your life and why some things don’t.
So from this early programming that takes place in those formative years of our life, two things start to happen. Life itself programs us. We begin to develop belief systems based on correlations between if then situations, if I do this then this happens, therefore I believe that x plus y equals z. But the problem is we often build that as a hard fixed rule about life. And the older we get and the more that we start to have more experiences based on our reactions and interactions from that early programming, then life unfolds either positively, negatively or for some, I guess, neutral. But from that early programming, life starts to unfold. And then we narrow down our rules and our beliefs because it’s happening to us the way that that original programming starts to unfold for us. And see the problem with this is you just don’t have to look very far else outside your life before you see somebody who has built a different set of rules and a different set of beliefs and life is working for them according to those rules and beliefs. And that negates your rules and beliefs. And you have to be really careful what you hold onto.
Let me give you two examples, remember from previous podcasts, the pastor who when I was about 25 years old told me that I was his biggest disappointment. And that subconsciously programmed me for the rest of my adult life. And it was so subtle I didn’t catch it. We were sitting in Vale, Colorado when that happened and there weren’t any fireworks up on the mountain and there wasn’t some plane flying by with a banner that says, ‘Thomas, you’re the biggest disappointment in my life’. It was subtle. It just was a passing statement. And the conversation went on, but I didn’t hear anything else.
Take in contrast, former President Carter, my friend Stewart Couch, a couple of podcasts back, the one on life and death programming, Stewart is involved with the Carter Center and has known President and Mrs. Carter for many years. And he was recently down in Georgia at a conference down there. And Stewart and I were talking about the excitement of that, he was really lit up by the weekend. And we were talking about President Carter and I was telling him that how I thought President Carter was so amazing because here was a man who came from almost relative obscurity, I mean he owned a peanut business in Georgia and then became governor of Georgia. And then one day ran for president and became president of the United States. And President Carter has written about this. But Stewart reminded me of the story that a school teacher – one of his school teachers in class one day said to the class, “It wouldn’t surprise me if one of you boys grew up to become president one day.” Now, there were obviously several boys in the class. I don’t remember the exact story. President Carter has written about it. But nobody else heard it, but President Carter, Jimmy Carter, young student Jimmy Carter, in a passing moment the conversation went on, caught that and it stayed with him. And his subconscious mind became programmed, and he said, “You know what; I’m going to become president one day.” Does that not send chills down your spine?
So you see how the package of you comes together, genetically predisposed to certain things, very early formative programming from your environment, from your parents or whoever raised you, whoever was in your life at that time, all of the emotions, all of the circumstances, the happy, the sad, the intensity, the dysfunctionality, all of that goes into a big package that becomes you, and you start to experience life, life starts to unfold according to that experience and then you start to develop rules and beliefs about how life is. Now look, I know some guys who I’ve hung out with over the years who are amazingly successful. And it’s just like they came out of school that way.
I remember one guy in particular who ended up in the real estate business here in the Dallas, Fort Worth area and he came out of college and literally stepped into this amazing job. His personal aura, his energy is so amazingly high all the time, and he’s been that way for the last 30 years, made tons of money and been tremendously successful in a booming, what over those period of decades was a booming industry here in Dallas, Fort Worth. Well guess what, life didn’t hand him what it handed me in those early years. He got a different start. So by college he had developed a bunch of beliefs and rules that life was a playground, life was a fun place, a sandbox and he was going to go have fun and he was going to make a lot of money doing it, and that was his belief system. And it served him according to those beliefs, all of his adult life. He stayed the same, family still together, great career, stayed at the same church all these years, life is good. He would turn this off because it’s not for him. But for those of us who had a different path and things started out differently, we have some work to do.
But you can see how all of those experiences develop who we are. And so when we launch into adulthood, that’s the vibration, like I was talking about my friend, that’s the vibration that we go out into life with. And that’s the vortex, if you watch Esther Hicks and Abraham on YouTube, that’s the vortex that she’s talking about. That’s the law of vibration. That’s the energy around the law of attraction. Do you see how that is so early programmed into us? And then life starts to unfold according to that programming. And we’re not aware of it as kids. I guarantee you, my friend thought that that was just the way life was and he would look around and wonder why so many people had so many challenges, because his psychology just wasn’t there. He couldn’t identify with it. I would look at a guy like that and say, “There’s a freak of nature. He’s not normal.” Or you look at him and you wonder how in the world does a guy like that get so lucky? It wasn’t about luck, he had just formulated early on in his life a series of beliefs that that could happen for him.
Here’s something that’ll knock you between the eyes. I’m reading Frederick Dodson right now; the book is called Parallel Universes of Self. He says this, he says, “Everybody in your life is somebody that you attracted.” You think, oh, no way. Well, that’s why I said, this’ll hit you right between the eyes. But if you think that you are a resonant magnet out there in the world, that’s the law of attraction. That’s Esther Hicks, that’s Abraham, that’s the vortex, that’s all of this. When you step out of your door tomorrow morning, you’re a magnet out there in the world. As I read over those sentences several times, absorbing the magnitude of that statement, I took a piece of paper out and started to write down some of the major people that had showed up in my life through the decades, wrote them down over on the left hand side of the page. And then on the right hand side next to each one, I left some space underneath each person, and I wrote down what state of mind I was in, what were the things that I was most interested in at that time, what were my passions and desires? Where was my heart? Where was my thinking? Just what was my state when those people showed up? And then I listed some of the characteristics of those people and who they were in my life at that time, positively or negatively. And when I looked at who they were and where I was, there was an amazing similarity. So I would just suggest you try it on, everything that’s in your life right now, everything you have or don’t have, all the people, the places, the things are all there from your resonating magnet out there in the world.
Now, let me tell you about Darren Weissman, that’s spelt W-E-I-S-S-M-A-N, Darren Weissman, he’s out of Chicago and he’s one of the Hay House authors and does a radio show on Hay House Radio. He is a chiropractor but has done a deep dive study into all of this and has created from his medical practice and from his observation of his patients; he has created this amazing thing called The Lifeline Technique. You’ll have to do your own research on what that is. But I want to tell you how it affected me, because it’s an amazing process where he goes into your energy field and literally can read all the way back to the defining moments in your childhood and even beyond if it warrants. And so one thing that that opened up to me as I kept listening to his material and I would listen to him interact with callers on the phone and how they would respond when he would get back into those years that I’ve been talking about. And one thing that I had to destroy was my rule about how far back this programming could take me, because I think I had really built a rule that I guess life begins when you’re a teenager or something, I don’t know. But I didn’t think those early years were that important. But in listening to Dr. Weissman go through this lifeline technique procedure with people on the phone, he would always get back to something that happened early on. And in some cases he would even go back to the womb or something that was going on before the womb.
And he would start to talk about situations going on in the mother’s life or something going on in the home when that child was in the womb. And like I said, for me, it just became destroying another rule, because somehow I had a rule that that didn’t matter. But in the lifeline technique, Dr. Weissman would tell people in let’s say at the age of seven, “You were in an environment of fear.” And when he would say that, you’d hear people gasp on the other end of the phone or they’d start laughing if it kind of triggered them that way. And in some cases they’d start crying because it would just hit them that, oh my gosh, that’s … and you know, when you get to the root of it, when you get to the bottom of all of this, it is so liberating and so freeing. And it’s like the lights go on at that point. But I think we often build such a veil over those early experiences that we literally just almost black them out. Now, this is such a surface skim of what he does in this process, it almost doesn’t do it justice. But I want you to get the sense.
Let’s use my example, if he were doing this lifeline technique on me, he would be able to literally go back and identify through his process, he would be able to get to 22 months, he’s able to count it down. And he would say, “At the age of 22 months you were in a situation of abandonment and fear.” And he would be able to see what that caused in my life. And then he would ask, “At the age of 22 months, if you knew everything you knew today (is the context) would you choose fear and abandonment as the defining characteristics of your life? Would you choose that consciously? In other words, would you say, I’m going to go out and live the rest of my life in fear and abandonment?” And of course, it’s almost a silly answer because of course it’s no, with about five exclamation marks behind it. And that’s the point; it’s not that we chose it. We were programmed into it because at 22 months, I didn’t have the conscious ability to analyze my life and say, “If I choose to do this, then I will likely have this certain outcome.” It just was stamped into me. And I as a little human soul began to react to my environment in the best way that I could figure out at the time. And then what Dr. Weissman would ask is, “What do you choose now? What do you choose today? Do you choose fear and abandonment today?” I would say, “No.” And then he would say, “Well, because you have a choice, what would you choose?” And I would say things like, “Confidence, security, pride, contribution.”
At that point you define who you want to be, because now you have choice.” “Yeah, but, but, but, but.” And at this point I want you to catch, because at this point, right here, you are fighting against your past. And whenever you see the words, ‘yeah, but’, show up in your internal conversation, catch that, stop right there, get your journal out and write down what that yeah, but, reaction is, yeah, but life isn’t safe, I can’t go there, I can’t do that, somebody will let me down. And your yeah, but is the pivot point that’s keeping you from what you could become and what you can today right now choose to become and your past. It’s the bridge between you and your past, yeah, but… So catch your yeah, but’s, that’s your resistance, that’s what’s keeping you in your belief system from going where you want to go. You’ve got to break those yeah, but’s down. And they’re strong, I get it, they’re strong.
And I also at this point just want to recognize again that no doubt about it in my mind, with the numbers of downloads that this website is starting to generate, that some of you have had abusive scars in your past that are beyond what I could even imagine. My heart goes out to you and I am incredibly sensitive to your pain. You should continue to seek the best help you can find. But only you can determine when it’s safe enough for you to look deep inside. And don’t go there until you’re ready. All I can tell you is that I was a tough case emotionally, my scars were very deep. And I can tell you that the resources and the process of how I changed my life, this is part of the process that I used and these were some of the most dramatic parts that really made the shift for me. And I’ve got to tell you, I am loving my life right now. So if that gives you hope that you can get there, but you have to get back to the point where you say, “I have the ability to choose and I choose…”
We are indeed going to go into part 3 and when we get to part 3 we’re going to talk about how to lay down our identity, because when we’re able to finally release what doesn’t work for us, that’s when the universe opens up. And it is a very magical playground out there.
My name is Thomas Miller. I’ll see you over on number 14.
Beginning from the day we’re born, and even the time we’re born, as you’ll hear, we start getting programmed to “do life”. There are two critical time periods in our early development that greatly affect the rest of our lives. Also, there are genetic predispositions, maternal and paternal (or whomever you were raised by) influences, sibling, society, religion, observation, interpretation, success, failure, pain and pleasure. All these and more are the ingredients of what formulated your life, and we create rules and beliefs around all of these things. Problem is….you only have to look at someone else’s life to realize that all the beliefs and rules we construct for ourselves, don’t necessarily hold true elsewhere! Then….we have to be willing to take a look inside.
This podcast is Part 1 of exploring how so many of these factors influence who we are. This is the groundwork. In Part 2 we’ll explore how we can consciously and subconsciously modify or altogether alter this programming to take us in the direction we want our lives to go. And if you’re a parent, this material can help you a lot as you are in the awesome and magnificent task of formulating a human soul.
This is Subconscious Mind Mastery podcast number 12.
Hi! My name is Thomas Miller. Thank you for joining us, if you can pick this up on iTunes or you if you caught us off the website at subconsciousmindmastery.com, whether it’s your first stop in or whether you are a subscriber, welcome back. We have quite a topic that we’re going to talk about. In fact why don’t we start a sequel because looking through all the notes that I have in front of me, there’s no way that we’re going to get through this in a normal 20 minute session. And I’m trying to keep these to 20 minutes because asking for five or six minutes of your time is a lot to ask, 20 is, you know, that’s even bigger. But trying to say let’s do this for 45 minutes or an hour together at the same thing, I just, I don’t know, maybe the Twitter generation has influenced me, I’m trying to settle on 20. I don’t know how that’s working for you but I don’t think we’re going to get through everything that we have to get through in near that. So this is probably number 12, number 13, and it might even roll into number 14. But we’ll get started. Now, I have to tell you I’m a little bit excited and a little bit intimidated at getting ready to do this podcast because I know where we’re going. I have quite a few pages of outline notes.
But basically I’m going to tell you how I turned my life around and the ingredients or the recipe. This is the recipe. This is the potpourri. This is the stuff that went into, if you were to say, “Wow, how do I turn my life around?” You know, if you ask the question, if you were to ask me, “How do you turn your life around? I don’t like where I am, I want to go some other direction.” And it might not be your whole life. Let’s just don’t say it, may not be as dramatic as what it was for me. It just might be, you’d like to shift a particular area of your life. A lot of people are looking to change their career path. Or you might want to live in a different geographic location. Whatever it is, I think you’re going to find something very helpful in what we’re going to talk about. At the same time as we unravel this, especially as we get to the crescendo it might get a little emotional for you, especially if there are some deep scars, so be aware of that. See there’s no way that on a podcast like this I’m looking at a microphone. I have no idea who’s beyond it and behind it. And I don’t know about you and what’s going on in your life. But I can only imagine for a podcast that’s already reached over a dozen countries, and has had a lot of downloads, that there are a lot of slices of life. And so I empathize with wherever you are.
You might be on top of your game and you’re looking to push it a little bit farther, to perform a little bit better. If that is the case, welcome, I think you’ll get something out of this. You might be in the depths of despair. And you might not know what tomorrow even holds. And if that’s the case I think you’ll find something of value as well. So mostly, thank you for listening, this is my story. This is what I did. And I trust that somewhere you’ll lock on and find something that jumps out at you, that you can take and run with for yourself, because really the answers, folks, the answers are within you. Now, it’s great to get outside resources. We need them. You need to read books and go to seminars and get counseling if that’s appropriate, and listen to podcasts, and digest material and read blogs and there’s a great support community out there. But it’s all outside of you. And what I want you to be especially careful is that you don’t listen to anything that doesn’t point you back to yourself because ultimately the answers are within. And that’s what we’re going to see. I think by the end of this series you’ll see what we’re talking about. Now listen, I was a tough case and this is the reason that I’m doing this podcast now and this blog, is to say that, “Look, if it can work for me, it can work for you.”
Now, I’ve titled this Rules, Rules, Rules because what you’re going to see as we unpack this is that through the experience of life we construct all kinds of rules around how life should be. And these are formulated from our childhood, from our earliest development. And there are some specific key things that happen early on that trigger these rules and their development. And then we live the rest of our life out in the context of these rules. For me, mine came a lot from church. If you’ve listened to some of the past podcasts, you know I came from a fundamentalist Christian family in Tulsa, Oklahoma. And we had a lot of rules. We had family rules and we had church rules. And the thing about church rules is they’re from God. So it’s man’s interpretation of God, but it’s when you’re taught that it’s from God, from a man or a person or your mother, you’re taught as though this is the way it is. And there’s no bending. Now, there’s a lot of great truth in all religions. And there’s a lot of great truth in Christianity. But there’s also a lot of manmade crap that will lead you off course and can really mess your life up. Now, that’s another subject for another time. We’ll get into that later. But you get the point, that we build a lot of rules around our lives and unraveling those rules, unthreading those rules is what really made the change for me.
I mentioned counseling a minute ago, now some of you are taking counseling sessions working with a therapist. And I did as well, spent quite a bit of time and money on therapy, particularly surrounding my first divorce which was when I was 39/40 years old, right in that timeframe. And while there were benefits and I learned different perspectives, it didn’t really help. It didn’t connect for me. And that’s what I’m saying is, I know there are a lot of people out there that have grabbed onto a lot of different resources. And there’s still something missing. And there was for me, and it was really frustrating to not be able to tie all of it together. And I’m going to tell you how I did and what ingredients went into me tying it together. And like I said, hopefully some of that will help, but counseling didn’t. Now, I’m not discounting counseling and therapy, there are some great therapists out there. I had a couple of really good ones. But there are some that will just waste your time and money.
And that’s what a doctor said to me, she said, “Look, just go to Landmark Education, it’s some of the best, cheapest counseling you’ll ever get.” And that is an awesome program. And I would encourage you, if you are in counseling and therapy and you wanted to look, if it’s not working for you and you wanted to look at something else look up Landmark Education on the internet, find a place close to you and give it a consideration. You can always just go check it out and see if it’s something that you’d like to explore. But it really did help open me up to a new dimension that I wasn’t getting from traditional therapy. I think the gap for me in counseling was that it was kind of like a Band-Aid on a wound, but the wound hadn’t healed yet, you know, it felt better, it stopped some of the bleeding. But in the end the wound was still unhealed and it was only a matter of time until it got infected again. So what I had to do was get even under that layer of skin and heal it from a deeper area. And that’s what I’m going to tell you in this podcast, because it was like turning the Titanic for me and avoiding the iceberg.
So we build all kinds of rules and constructions around our life. And they’re so deep and they’re so built in that you don’t even know when you’re exercising one of your rules. I was having dinner with one of my college roommates last night. We still keep in touch and meet regularly and we were talking about this very thing. And he was telling me how there were subtle little things that would come up that other people would have to tell him. “Now see, look, you’re doing it right there.” And he was like, “Oh my gosh, really.” So this is where a good buddy can help you along the way too, somebody that’s an accountability partner or somebody that will help you walk down this journey, because there are a lot of blind spots. I have a coach right now and my coach is absolutely amazing. And my coach will not let me get away with saying something that takes me back to one of my old patterns, catches it right there in the spot and just nails it and then I have to face it and deal with it. But these rules are programmed or built into our life from several sources. They’re learned by observation. They’re taught by others, our parents, our church, our social setting or surrounding, school teachers etc. You get the point.
Now, some of who we are just comes genetically prewired. And I didn’t really understand the full context of this until I opened up, I let a rule down, I laid a rule aside and started studying astrology, not the predictive form, I’m talking about the personality traits side of astrology. But see, growing up for me astrology was always of the devil. And that was one of my rules and it wasn’t until I finally looked at it from a standpoint, you know, there’s some really amazing consistent information that I’m seeing here. I found a guy by the name of Mark Husson, he’s one of the Hay House authors and has a radio show on Hay House Radio which is an internet website, if you haven’t been there you ought to check it out, hayhouseradio.com. And Mark Husson is one of the guys I listened to over there and Darren Weissman is the other. And I’m going to talk about Darren little bit later on. But while I was working, doing like what you’re doing right now, I would listen to some of Mark Husson’s shows and really found it interesting because he would talk mostly about how somebody’s … well, your birthday, how your birthday affects your personality and the way that you naturally tend to respond to life’s situations. And it really is an amazing study on both behavior and interaction. So it’s how you interact with other people. And when you start to learn some of this you’ll see how not only you are wired, but how other people are wired.
And guys, I’ve got to tell you, I was blind to how other people were wired. I didn’t go over to the other side of the fence and try to see life from their perspective. But when I started to study and learn this I realized that there are so many different ways that people view the same world. And so if I’m dealing with somebody who sees it from one perspective and I know where my perspective is and I know what my natural tendency is, it’s made it so much easier for me to interact with other people. I’m a Scorpio and I work with a Pisces. And Scorpios and Pisces interact well together. And so as I’ve understood the guy that I work for and how he looks at life, sure enough, when he reacts in certain ways I just run it through that filter. Yeah, there you go. I understand, I get it. And I’m able to just let stuff bounce off because that how he’s responding, it’s not how I would respond. But I get that he looks at it through a different prism. The other thing that I think is interesting about this side of astrology, not the predictive side, the predictive side gets a little bit more dicey, but the other thing is that this will show you where the energy is more highly concentrated in your life at a given time. Now, I’m a firm believer that you have ultimate choice, and that’s the power of what we’re going to get to by the end of this, is the freedom to choose. But I do believe that everything around us is concentrated and focused energy. And at certain times, energy is more concentrated and focused in certain areas than in others.
And I have no idea how people 6,000 years ago without the internet, figured all this out. But it is an amazing study. Enough about that subject, I just wanted you to get the point, it really opens you up to some really neat cool perspectives. And if you’ve never studied it before, hey, lay down your rule and give it a shot. But the point is when we’re born we have a natural perspective of how we’re going to interact with life itself, before we’ve even taken our third breath, that’s just born into us. That’s how we would naturally respond to something, if we had no influence and no training and no external input, if we were just literally in a perfect vacuum from the day we were born and then we started somewhere out there to respond to life, this is the way that we would naturally do it without any training, without any rules, no interpretations, just the way we would respond naturally. But that’s not the way it works out is it? Because then we start to live life and we have those critical early formative years. Now, if you’re really trying to understand why you are the way you are and why life is the way that it is for you, you have to go back and revisit those first five or six years of your life. And this is what I say, I realize that at this moment we’re crossing into some dangerous territory because for some of you those first five or six years were full of emotional and even physical pain. And if that’s the case then I want you to listen to me a little bit more distantly, alright, keep it out there as just a resource.
Don’t go too far into this emotion right now, listen through this whole thing. And I want you to get the context of this and then you can go back and fit it into how it fits your situation. I didn’t have physical abuse, I had quite a bit of mental and verbal impacts on my life, but I was never physically abused. And I get that if you have been it is one of the scars of life that is the most, I so respect where you are because it is huge and it carries all the way into your adulthood. There is a way to deal with it, I firmly believe that, but I totally get that if somebody says to you, “Go back and look at the first five or six years of your life”, you might have icicles going down your back right now. But it’s ultimately something that you have to address if you’re going to permanently change. I’m talking about getting out of the spin cycle. Let’s don’t keep going around and around and around and not getting anywhere in our life, this is about finally putting this to rest. And yes, there is some discomfort with it. I spent a year journaling about this period of my life and cried buckets of tears. So I’m not saying that this is a painless escape. It’s gnarly, it hurts. It was difficult for me to get to the point of revisiting this. But I’m telling you, in order to heal it, I’m talking about not putting another fresh Band-Aid on a still sore wound, I’m talking about let’s go in and heal the wound.
Really there are two critical age brackets that you have to take a look at, birth up to five/six/seven and then another really critical timeframe is the age between about 10 and 15. For a brief little period there I did a little bit of work a Christian ministry inside prisons. And one of the chaplains of this ministry said that a common thing that he saw among prisoners was that most men he was dealing with, guys that had been incarcerated had some significant major negative thing happen in their lives between the ages of, he said, 10 and 14/15. So I get, again that might bring a flashback for you that’s not comfortable. But let’s go into it and let’s see how we’re going to deal with it because there is a way out. And this thing doesn’t have to hold you for the rest of your life. From those early experiences, we all begin to formulate how life should be. Sometimes it’s just a coping mechanism. It’s survival. Sometimes we connect the dots. It’s an if then correlation, if this happens then I respond like this, I get this kind of result. And you see that pattern a couple of times and you build a rule or a belief around that. Some of it’s taught by our parents or other influences that we’ve already talked about.
So up until this point in my journey, I’d had a church background, had been to counseling, had been through everything that I could get my hands on from Tony Robins, had done almost a year’s worth of journaling, unpacking those early years of my life and it still wasn’t clear. And I kept asking the universe, I kept praying, I kept, show me, show me where the depth of, show me where the bottom of this is. Show me the beginning. Show me how I got completely here. Now, one of the things that kept pointing back was it was the relationship with my mother, yes, I would be one of those that they say has mother issues. In all of my journaling things kept pointing back to mom. Well, it just so happened that on Mother’s Day (how ironic) I was sitting in a Unity church Sunday morning service here in Dallas and they had a meditation from 10 until 11. It was a really cool thing. If you’ve never been to a Unity church, it’s not like your Baptist church or your Methodist church or your Catholic church, it’s quite a bit different. But they had a meditation. It was a bowl meditation where they play the bowls, the harmonic sounds from bowls. And did that for an hour and then went into their version of a worship service. And it was in that service on Mother’s Day, after that meditation that I literally had the veil pulled back and could look in and see my mother’s life from her perspective. And what I saw was a woman who longed to be loved. She never could meet her father’s expectations. She never was good enough.
She didn’t meet my dad until later in life and even in the post-world war 2 generation, they married quite late. Mom was about 30/31 when they got married. So in a generation where all of her friends were 10 years, celebrating their 10 year anniversary, my mom was just getting married. And I came along 12 months later. Now, there’s something else about my mom, she was off the charts extreme, okay, like if normal was a 10, it really exaggerated, was a 12. My mother was a 200. She did everything to excess. No, not excessive, off the charts excessive. And you can imagine, my dad was passive, I mean that’s the only way that could work, right, great man, tons of respect in his lifetime but he was passive in that relationship and he was passive as a father. So what I saw in church that day was this beautiful soul of this young woman in Tulsa, Oklahoma, who had a big hole in her heart and just wanted to be loved more than anything else in the world. And she wanted to give love. And if you don’t think it moved me to tears, I probably tried to contain it in the service, but once I got out in the car I just, you know, let it go.
Well, for her, when I came along in her 200 times excessive mode, you can imagine that I was a little bit over-nurtured. I was paid too much attention. And all of this started to get real clear to me too. I could see myself as a little baby, I mean it’s really weird. And I don’t want you to go off thinking this is, doo, doo, doo stuff. I’m telling you, from that experience on that Sunday morning, just the vision of this in my mind became so clear of this over-focus of attention and love and I appreciated it, but it was too much, it was over, it was excessive. And then 22 months later in the context of having 22 months, almost two full years of this hyper attention, one day mom goes away and my brother comes home. What the hell is this I ask, figuratively of course? But you get the point, because all of a sudden overnight all of this love and attention and affection that was all mine, was gone, or at least divided. But I had been so programmed that I needed that. What that did is it fired off two things right at that point. It fired off abandonment, over-dependency, particularly on women, and a great resentment toward my brother. And I was 22 months old and that ladies and gentlemen is how I began to live the rest of my life. Alright, let’s stop here. In our next podcast we are going to talk about how you can look back into the very essence of those early years, how you’ll see that you really at that point didn’t make a cognitive choice. I’m not going to say you didn’t have a choice, you didn’t make a choice. And we’re going to talk about how you can finally heal those wounds.
My name is Thomas Miller. Thank you very much for joining me through a difficult topic today. We’ll pick it up on the next one, podcast number 13.
It doesn’t matter where you’ve been, where you are, or specifically what you want for your life right now. We’re all on a road together. Here’s “The Rest Of the Story…” that tells you when miracles started to show up in my own life. I hope there’s some part of this story that connects. I’m confident enough in the Universe that since you found us…..it will!
You’re listening to Subconscious Mind Mastery podcast number 11.
Wow, I am so glad that you have found us and that you’re stopping by today. Hi, my name is Thomas Miller. The website is subconscious mind mastery dot com and we are on iTunes. It’s really cool because if you type in subconscious to iTunes now, we’re kind of up there like in the first position, at least on my computer. I don’t know, maybe it’s discriminate toward me. But we’re starting to get some attraction out there, people from countries all over the world listening to this. And the podcast download numbers are really impressive. So thank you. Thank you for joining in. Be a subscriber, you know, if you go to the website at subconsciousmindmastery.com over on the right hand side there is a button that … there’s a box that says ‘subscribe via social media’. And that very first button, it’s kind of hard to tell what it is. The others, you know, you can tell, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter. But there’s one there that is if you hit it, it will take you to your iTunes and automatically subscribe the podcast to you. So a couple of times a week we release a new podcast. And those will download for you automatically. The other button there is the RSS feed and I’m feeding this through Feed Burner, so if you click on that and otherwise get RSS feeds some other way then that would be a good way to connect as well. Love to have you join, love to have you subscribe, and thank you for listening.
Something I’ve really been in touch with this past week is where we all are on our journey. Some people have made a lot of progress in their life and they’re looking for new ways and new ways to hear something or new tools and technologies to even reach higher ground. But a lot of people are really in the dumps. I mean this Facebook group through a coaching program that I’m doing and man, there’s one guy in there that just my heart goes out to him because I know that he is where I was not just too long ago. And you really want to reach out to people like that. And my heart really goes out to this guy. So no matter where you are in your journey I hope that you will find something here that you can connect to and that will help encourage you and help uplift you and give you something to lock onto or something to think about that you can take your life to a higher level, that’s what we’re here for. So I thought to that end that we might talk for just a couple of minutes together about some significant milestones in my life especially over the last five years. You know I had a really tough go at it and dug myself into a pretty deep hole. And sometimes I wake up in the morning and I think, Thomas, what in the world are you doing? You know, putting my life out here in this way in such a vulnerable form or fashion, and this is really hanging it out there. And I guess probably naturally I’d like to keep my cards to my chest a little bit.
But I figure if it happened to me and I was able to turn my life around from what was really a mess, then maybe there would be something inside my story that would encourage you, because really once I finally grasped some of this material and changed the way that I was thinking, my life really took dramatic changes in an upward direction. And I know that’s why you’re here too. We all want the same thing. As far as the timeline goes, I really hit bottom in the second half of 2007. I went through my second divorce and it happened to be that I was married to a physician and I was running the business. I was running the practice and we have several other things that we were doing. And so the divorce caused me a job crisis at the same time. I have two kids, so I have a son that’s halfway through college and a daughter that’s just graduating from high school this spring as we’re doing this in April of 2013. And one divorce is bad enough on kids, but two really, really has an impact. And so it affected my kids. I didn’t respond to the second divorce very well and so I started doing some pretty unhealthy things and so it affected my health as well. I knew that my life was headed in a really bad direction.
Now, there’s a concept that I’m working on and it’s going to be the topic of this next podcast. And I think if there’s one thing that sticks in my mind of the shift point for me it comes to this whole concept of, let’s call it identity, ego, self, you put your own context around that. But I’m working on some next podcasts where we’re going to be talking about how to remove your ego and how to step back away from such emotional internal involvement in outcomes, because see that’s the way my life was wrapped up, was around getting this desired outcome, call it controlling, call it manipulative, call it proud, but it was all across my life. Everything was involved in stroking and serving and fulfilling and my ego was just … my identity was so a part of every process. And as I look back over this path there’s one common theme and that is when I released the identity, when I stepped away from the ego, when I got outside myself, that’s when changes really started to happen. Now, I’ve told you in previous podcasts, if you’ve been poking around on the website you know that I really was living a life and acting in a way that just didn’t work.
My whole background and my whole upbringing centered around fundamentalist Christianity, a very rules based religion. It was based on a lot of self-righteousness, but also had tons and tons of rules and beliefs that had to be because it was all based on somebody’s interpretation of the Bible, which of course was God’s word. So I was boxed into this world of not being able to wiggle outside of these rules that were confining me, taught to me by these authorities that were putting my life by God, who I dared not question nor think that anything that I was being taught was anything but the word of God. And oh, by the way, if you step outside of this you’re going to go roast in hell for eternity. So I built my whole life around what I thought was the way to not become an internal marshmallow and I was going to do everything I could to make sure that you didn’t become an internal marshmallow too. So you know the saying, how’s that working for you? Well it didn’t work out so well, for myself it was an internal conflict, I was at war because I knew there was something not right. I knew there was some dot not being connected, but I didn’t dare step into the inquiry of what it was. As far as my external relationships, the people in my life, oh my God, I’ve, you know, gone back for the last five years cleaning up messes. But then it all hit me when this second person who I was married to, decided that she couldn’t take it either.
And that was my bottom, that was the point that finally instead of looking out and externally at everything else being part of the problem, I sat down in mid-2008 about six or eight months after my divorce and I started to look at me because my initial reaction was, well God has just given up on me, God doesn’t care about me anymore. God had nothing to do with it. I had created this all myself. God was not to blame in any way or sort. But it took a lot for me to get to the point where I could look at that.
The thing that gave me a different perspective was a program that a doctor friend of mine invited me to in mid-2008 called Landmark Education. Landmark comes from a program that was started in the late 60s, early 70s that was called EST, it was popular in California, but now it’s permeated around the country and literally around the world as Landmark Education. And Landmark’s program really for the first time got me to look outside all of that old structure that I grew up with that wasn’t working. So the important thing about that piece of the journey is that if life isn’t working for you, there probably is the answer just over the next horizon, whatever it is for you that it takes to get you to look at that next level or look at a different perspective. I would highly encourage anyone to take a look at Landmark who was looking for this type of material, to look at a different way of seeing life. They have a program that takes about six months to complete four different phases of the program, four different classes, but it really is a great program, it meant a lot to me.
Now, the other thing I did simultaneous to that and I was just in a position in life to be able to do this, this is not for everybody, but my lease had run out and I was feeling pretty itchy and wild and didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do and so I bought an RV and I decided that I would live in it for one year and just see how it was. Well, I got a taste of the RV lifestyle and that was great and I learned a lot about RVs, that was another beneficial thing, but the most incredible part about it was being away from everything that I had grown accustomed to. So all the old memories and all the old visuals and all the old people, I was able to separate from all of that emotion. And that was a great time of that one year in the RV and during that time I would spend a lot of the evenings sitting outside, enjoying a glass of wine, listening to the sounds of nature which were just magnificent, and thinking about my life and journaling, I wrote and wrote and wrote, and the more I dug inside, the more started to come out. And it was during that time that I also learned this great concept, it was from an article I found on the internet that some lady in Oklahoma had written about doing the opposite. I put that in one of my previous podcasts, it was a Seinfeld episode where George’s life hadn’t ever turned out the way he wanted it and so Jerry’s advice was, “Well why don’t you just do the opposite?” And it was a really funny scene, you can search it up, it’s on YouTube. I’ve also got a link to it down on one of my other posts. But it’s really funny because George does the opposite and things really start to change for him.
So I looked around at a lot of different areas of my life and I thought, you know, if I were able to achieve at least the opposite of this, it would be really cool. Hey, instead of broke, I could be rich. Instead of having no relationships I can have great relationships. Instead of being frustrated in my job and my career I could really enjoy my job and career. So I started lining up all the behaviors that I had done to get to where I was and I just did a 180 on all of them. I had a left side column and a right side column. The left side column of the paper would be what I did to get to where I was. The right column would be to go where I wanted to go. And every one of those things had basically an opposite action step on the other side of the right side of the paper. And finally things started to turn around. But the common denominator that I saw through all of these changes is when I released my identity, when I threw it away, that’s when the changed started to happen.
I took an audio book recording class in Los Angeles back in 2012 with a couple of guys that are on top of that industry, Pat Fraily and Scott Brick. And we were in this recording studio in Los Angeles, in Hollywood, and they were coaching us on how to read audio books. And it’s a huge industry and I narrate audio books from time to time. And one of the coaching points that Scott Brick, one of the great audio book narrators gave me was, “Throw it away, just throw it away. Act like you’re not…” He said, “You’re putting too much of yourself into it, just throw it away, let it be.” It’s one of the great sayings that I love from Wayne Dyer, and he quotes John Lennon, “Let it be, just let it be.” And that was so foreign to what I had grown up with. Well in the fall of 2009 a person that I was working with cut me in very unexpectedly on a real estate deal that we were doing. And he said, “If you do bump, bump, bump, this, this and this, then I’ll give you $8500.” Would be the extra compensation for what we were working through. Well I pulled off my part of the deal and he did too. I took a photocopy of that check and I have it hanging on my success wall. It’s a great reminder that miracles can happen. And do you know what happened? Over the next, about 12 months I guess, another $40,000 just showed up. You all know, I’m not kidding 40, you see there’s the Texas coming out, $40,000 just showed up totally unexpected. But I had started to put myself in a position that money would manifest for me. I didn’t do anything for those, they just showed up.
And that’s what I’m saying, that if you just throw it away, if you set your intentions, you visualize what was going to happen. I had passwords on all of the websites and computers and everything where I logged into a password was something to do with manifesting money, I’m not kidding. I would write it up on the mirror of the bathroom, I’ve told you that. But then you just kind of forget about it, and that’s when it starts to happen. Well, the next big event was closing out of the RV, the year was starting to wind down, it was now the fall of 2009, and I had a real internal prompting. I was really getting an internal voice that said it’s time to move back to Dallas. So I created in my mind the type of place where I wanted to live. I wanted to get an apartment and I had a particular geography of where I wanted it to be. I wanted it to be halfway between where my kids went to school and where they lived with their mom. I wanted to be right in between there so that I could have equal access to be able to spend time with them. And that worked for me from where I was working as well. So this for me was kind of the first test if you will, to put this whole process to use in my life, kind of for the first time, let’s try this out. So I visualized what I wanted and I started looking. And guess what, I found nothing. Every place was just not what I had in mind at all. But I kept looking. I knew the only thing I could do was to keep looking. It had to be out there. I just hadn’t found it yet. So I kept searching, kept searching.
And finally one day, and here’s the throwaway again, it was on a Saturday in the fall in football season, my son was finishing his high school football career. And they were in these little playoff games that they were having. And in between games I found on Craigslist this subleased apartment. And the address caught my attention because it was halfway in between the two locations that I visualized. When I went in and took a look at the apartment, it was exactly; I mean exactly, I can’t tell you how close it was in reality to what I had envisioned in my mind. Well, I leased the apartment and ended up staying there for 18 months and it worked out great.
The next thing that I had to do was to get out of that RV. Well, that became a miracle in and of itself. I had a diesel pickup truck to pull the fifth wheel RV with. I have to tell you, I hated that pickup truck. And I had actually eliminated the word hate from my vocabulary, but I … folks, I hated that pickup truck. And no idea what I was going to do to get out of it or get rid of it, well that truck had a problem, it had a mechanical error that would cause a certain thing to happen. And it had been in the shop five consecutive months for this same problem. And the fifth time that I was in the dealership they pulled me off to the side and they said, “Chrysler has agreed to replace your truck under the [0:15:47.8] law, go out in the parking lot and start looking around because you can pick anything that you want, we’re going to trade you out of that truck.” Well, I picked a Jeep Rubicon Wrangler. And it is a total love affair to this day, I love my Jeep. And every time I get in my jeep and I start the ignition in it I think of miracles.
Well, the next thing was selling the RV. Now, I’m not one of these … you know, you watch these shows that are on, like the history channel or A&E these days, these selling shows, you know, like porn stars and what’s the other one, about the storage wars, you know, those shows where it’s all about bartering and buying and selling, and I have no earthly talent in that area. I guess I need to manifest that I do because I’ve never really had that knack. Well, I had an RV on my hands that I had to get rid of. Basically the guy that had been maintaining it for me, wanted to sell it for a commission and I was happy to pay him for that. He had some contacts and on December 23rd, two days before Christmas of 2010, I delivered the RV to a game warden who had bought it through my friend. So the game warden benefitted because he needed it immediately. My friend benefitted because he got some extra cash and I got rid of the RV two days before Christmas.
So things were going pretty good. I had gotten rid of the RV, got a new miracle Jeep vehicle that I loved, had a brand new apartment. So I thought I would do a vision board and see how far we could stretch it. So right there during the holidays in 2010, I did a vision board and there were several items on it. But one of the things that was on the vision board was a microphone. My college degree and my early career was in broadcasting, and I’ve always loved radio. And there’s just something about the magic of radio that I just have always enjoyed. And I thought I would love to be back on the radio. So I put a microphone, just a picture of a microphone up on the board. Do you know that within six months I was co-host and producer of a health talk live radio show on KRLD, one of the prominent news stations in the Dallas Fort Worth market? That show lasted for a year, KRLD liked what they saw and they asked me to do another one for them, another place where I set my intentions and then just kind of let it be, was my relationship with my kids. I was learning now not to force things, not to demand things. So I let my relationship with my kids just grow and evolve. Oh, I set my intentions, I knew what I wanted and I set them very clearly. But that was for myself, I let the kids be. Oh, I was there, I was halfway between their home and their school. And I was involved in the various things that they wanted me involved in. But as I didn’t put pressure on it and just let it relax, I’ve got to tell you, that my relationship with my kids today is better than it’s ever, ever been.
I’ve created a few other things that haven’t manifest yet, but it were just getting to the right time, see we need that gestation period. And it’s just the right time. And there are some incredible things that are going to start taking place in the life of me as dad and the kids. I can already see it coming. And then in podcast number 7, I told you about the situation in Christmas 2011 when just this amazing healing with my mom, my brother, my kids, the whole magical experiences detailed in that podcast of what took place at Christmas time in 2011. And now I have a wonderful rapport with my brother. And he and his wife are travelling around in an RV. And right now as I’m recording this, I think they are down on the coast of Texas enjoying an early spring down there, so what about the journey now, now that we’ve met here on this podcast? Well I have a deep desire to teach what I can and use this story as a platform, and some of the things that I’ve learned and my voice to help anyone who is interested in growing in their life. I have certain goals, specific goals that I want to achieve. I have a specific place I want to live. I’m mapping out what I want the rest of my life to count for and what I want to do with it. I have a great coach who is helping me unravel some of the deep gnarly knots that are still programmed down in there. And that’s really how this podcast has come about, is just an extension and a continuation of that process.
So you’re going to get to watch and we’ll walk through this journey together because I’ll keep you informed on how things are unfolding. So I hope there’s something in here that has encouraged you. I hope that you can see that if you even feel like you’re in the depth of the pit right now, that if you will commit and take the steps to do what you need to do to learn a better way, that it will unfold for you.
Finally, and I’ll just mention this briefly; because there are so many great resources out there that can help you along the way. And I’ve pulled out several of the key things that helped me, Landmark Education is one, I’ve mentioned that. And on the website, subconsciousmindmastery.com, over on the right hand side I’ve just put links to the various things, the tools if you will, that really helped me. One is an audio program called The Science of Getting Rich. This is a program by Bob Procter, Jack Canfield and Michael Beckwith. They explore a book that was written almost 100 years ago by Wallace Waddles, called The Science of Getting Rich. And I’ll tell you, I bought that, it was more expensive, it’s actually cheaper now than it was back then, and I had to so scrape to get the money to buy that program, but it was the best money I’ve ever spent on myself. I did that program at about the same time I was going through the Landmark Program, and both of them combined, it was like one voice explaining it this way, another voice explaining it that way, and the two of them resonated for me. And it was such a dual impact at exactly the same time. And it’s not just about money. Yes, that’s the topic of the book and that’s the platform that they base it on. But it’s about any area of life. You can substitute any other word in there and get exactly the same message.
Another thing that really helped me were Kelly Howell’s audio meditations. And I have a link for her website there, brainsync.com. In unpacking everything I realized that so much of what I had come to believe and who I had come to be was programmed into me audibly, it was from so many things that my mother had said and all the sermons that I had listened to. And all of that had me convinced and believing a certain way about life. The other thing that really affected me was that I grew up in a critical environment, so I didn’t have a high self-esteem. I didn’t think I was of much value. And I could see where that had all come from audible programming. So I thought if I could hear another conversation in my ears over and over and over, that I could reprogram that thinking as well. And Kelly Howell’s work in that is just fantastic. And I’ll just direct you to her website to explore on your own. But that was a valuable resource. Her companion product is Think Right Now. And I have a link to that as well. These are more behavioral modification oriented, they’re about 20-30 minutes in length, but they’re set to 60 beat per minute music. And that’s baroque type classical music. And that’s supposed to put your brain in the most adaptive state to hear a new message. And I think there’s tremendous value there as well.
And then finally I created an Amazon store because there are just too many books, there are too many books and other products there that are just fantastic. This is the base library. I mean these are the best of the best. And so I’ve tried to just pull those aside and put them in one place, that if you wanted to click over there. I’ve tried to put at least the paperback and the Kindle version of the books in there. But these are the things that have really touched my life. You have to study this material and you have to learn a new way of doing and a new way of being. And these are great tools that all impacted me individually and I just wanted to pull them aside and put them in a place where you could conveniently look at them for yourself.
I really appreciate you listening today. We have much more exciting material ahead. I’m Thomas Miller.
Why would you want a different outcome in your life? Perhaps you would like more money in your bank account. Maybe you’d like a different relationship….or one at all. Perhaps you’d like to move to a totally different location. There are lots of reasons why implementing material like this could move your life in a different direction.
But what about life itself? What about facing a cancer treatment protocol that, quite honestly, most people don’t make it through. But through one key shift, Stuart Couch is alive today to tell you his amazing story. Listen to the interview that just might totally change your life.